EMBARASSMENT - and low cut blouses
Which nationalities feel most at ease on iPeace, and anyone feel uncomfortable for anything they read or see here? Living out of my country, and receiving many international guests, I have experienced many occasions where I myself, or others make, let's call them "mistakes" because I or others don't know the customs of a country. There may be an uncomfortable feeling because one of us says or does something that is not customary. These are just a few of my own personal experiences and others I have never learned exactly what the reasoning behind them was.
l. A Russian guest visiting in Italy, rather than wait for me when I went to say hello to a friend in a cafè, completely disappeared (he walked back silently to his hotel).
2. I, in another country (English speaking) was told that perhaps my (totally innocent) pun offended people and I should probably watch it next time
3. Here, my Chinese friend stopped iPeace after one day, which he and I were sorry about. Even though he was interested in knowing about other nationalities and their thoughts, perhaps the direct mail to him expressed things he didn't feel comfortable in discussing, and that he didn't agree with.
The list goes on, and anyone who has traveled, or lived most their life out of their home country understands this more than others.
If you read the majority of discussions and blogs here, you will see that certain countries do not partecipate actively. This is to be expected.
I am thinking though, that probably some people would even like to comment on things, or bring up discussions, but only observe and learn about the rest of the world through their reading and remain on the "outside".
I am wondering if perhaps, some are scared off by some of the more, let's say, original and provocative writings and photographs. Although they may be interested, attracted to, and even in agreement with what they see and read, their own cultures may almost prohibit them to express themselves without being perhaps judged as being too liberal.
NOW having said that - I have learned through my own experience, especially in China, that my friends there were very interested in every single thing about me and my life. It was all new to them, "I" was new to them. But if I would have shocked them with details, news, experiences, photos, whatever, right from the start, I think I may have lost them, without being able to get close at all.
Things exist, nudity, erotic writing, sensuality, and here, people are getting close, some of them pretty close, I believe. But many iPeace members, I believe, are definitely not used to these things in "their world" and it may be something that, rather than inform them of these things, and the ease in which many many countries of the world discuss it, view it, show it, makes them decide to immediately leave, without continuing at all.
This is a shame, and may be summed up by these people with a negative idea like "it is too libertal" or "I don't agree with this kind of thinking". Getting out for good, they will lose all the wonderful things they could have gotten here.
On a lighter note, it's a little like Italian television, for those living in Italy you know what I am talking about. Women news reporters when giving the news, often wear very low cut shirts and jackets. Even during the war in Kosovo, I noticed that their attire was the same or even "worse" in order to get more viewers. It was extremely noticeable, and in terrible taste due to the subject they were reporting. Finally someone somewhere must have said STOP, and the day after the lowcut shirts got buttoned up a bit more. Perhaps someone realized that they had to think about the general public (including children!) who were in front of the television.
Should we put a few more buttons on iPeace in order to attract the more timid, conservative, traditional countries and give them a chance to slowly learn what "our glorious world" is all about? What are your thoughts?
l. A Russian guest visiting in Italy, rather than wait for me when I went to say hello to a friend in a cafè, completely disappeared (he walked back silently to his hotel).
2. I, in another country (English speaking) was told that perhaps my (totally innocent) pun offended people and I should probably watch it next time
3. Here, my Chinese friend stopped iPeace after one day, which he and I were sorry about. Even though he was interested in knowing about other nationalities and their thoughts, perhaps the direct mail to him expressed things he didn't feel comfortable in discussing, and that he didn't agree with.
The list goes on, and anyone who has traveled, or lived most their life out of their home country understands this more than others.
If you read the majority of discussions and blogs here, you will see that certain countries do not partecipate actively. This is to be expected.
I am thinking though, that probably some people would even like to comment on things, or bring up discussions, but only observe and learn about the rest of the world through their reading and remain on the "outside".
I am wondering if perhaps, some are scared off by some of the more, let's say, original and provocative writings and photographs. Although they may be interested, attracted to, and even in agreement with what they see and read, their own cultures may almost prohibit them to express themselves without being perhaps judged as being too liberal.
NOW having said that - I have learned through my own experience, especially in China, that my friends there were very interested in every single thing about me and my life. It was all new to them, "I" was new to them. But if I would have shocked them with details, news, experiences, photos, whatever, right from the start, I think I may have lost them, without being able to get close at all.
Things exist, nudity, erotic writing, sensuality, and here, people are getting close, some of them pretty close, I believe. But many iPeace members, I believe, are definitely not used to these things in "their world" and it may be something that, rather than inform them of these things, and the ease in which many many countries of the world discuss it, view it, show it, makes them decide to immediately leave, without continuing at all.
This is a shame, and may be summed up by these people with a negative idea like "it is too libertal" or "I don't agree with this kind of thinking". Getting out for good, they will lose all the wonderful things they could have gotten here.
On a lighter note, it's a little like Italian television, for those living in Italy you know what I am talking about. Women news reporters when giving the news, often wear very low cut shirts and jackets. Even during the war in Kosovo, I noticed that their attire was the same or even "worse" in order to get more viewers. It was extremely noticeable, and in terrible taste due to the subject they were reporting. Finally someone somewhere must have said STOP, and the day after the lowcut shirts got buttoned up a bit more. Perhaps someone realized that they had to think about the general public (including children!) who were in front of the television.
Should we put a few more buttons on iPeace in order to attract the more timid, conservative, traditional countries and give them a chance to slowly learn what "our glorious world" is all about? What are your thoughts?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on
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Liked your wide perspective view point above, Cia - thanks to others too.
Stephanie
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Permalink Reply by biba zimmermann on
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if we really seek peace,we have to find a way,not to offend others.if we trully seek peace,we have to give up:our opinion,our belif,our point of seeing things.that would be the price for peace.
give(up),and it will be given to you!if we seek,what we do have in common,we can build a strong platform,where the peace can be built on it.there is good in everything,but we have to search for it!
peace to all of you!
biba
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Permalink Reply by Kevin Hodge on
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I see this as like the prime directive. (Star Trek) A country or nation has to want to excell in the ways of the world. Inherant to all people of this wolrd is a sense of right and wrong, embarrassment and ellation. In terms of children, we can only encourage the first steps to take, then save our money for Dr. bills due to dilligence in getting them where we wanted them to go. In short "they" as in other countries, have the right of taking their time getting where they want to be. Presumption is a fatal flaw, and control of will is defeating. Wishing, hope, and education is more on the side of compassion and understanding. On a liter note the world does have some odd people in it too. Not everyone can be the way we would like them to be. That's why they call it diversity.
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Permalink Reply by Wayne L. Christensen on
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Thank you for your comments, as they are well thought out and spoken. It is my belief that the fear of nudity is taught and not natural.
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Permalink Reply by ken on
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which ones are wrong the one girl standing in front of the giant redwood ?the one where shes blending into the rocks or the one where shes lying on the rock in the ocean some of them are just naked people some of them make you stop and enjoy the beauty in the world as far as children educate dont legislate i know plenty of kids who enjoy running around the house naked after they have a bath . i know people sometime use nudity for the wrong reasons but saying no to all of it would be a mistake i really need all the beauty i can find
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Permalink Reply by Chrissy on
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Very interesting. The information that you share is very important and should be taken to heart when reading it. I know that for myself, there are times that I don't resond to messages because I tell myself that I don't have time or I don't know what to say. I am taking the time to respond to this message because of that.
I had a dear friend who told me that he felt people shouldnt't visit another country until they are familiar with their customs. I, on the other hand, feel the opposite. I feel when we visit another country we learn so much about he culture if we are open and willing to do so.
When I was in the U.S.Army in the 70s I was assigned to Korea for my first duty station. I was scared to think that I would be in a country where I didn't know the language or the customs of the people. It didn't take me long to wander into the village which was just outside of our Camp. I found the people to be very pleasant and helpful in many ways and I was eager to learn as much about their culture as possible. I dream about being there to this day, some 30 years later.
I want to visit other countries before I leave this Earth. I pray that my husband and I will be able to do this. His family originated in Sicily. My roots are from Lebanon. What a wonderful time it will be when we get to see these countries for the first time. Until then I dream of it and look forward to those dreams coming true.
Thank you for sharing...it encouraged me to write a reply where I would have passed it by and said I will respond at another time. Procrastination is the term, I believe.
Namasté
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I believe that on iPeace, we have an incredible BIG CHANCE that includes the following possibilities:
To get close
To get to know others
To learn from others
To meet so many people the world over that perhaps you never even thought would be possible to meet, EVER.
Do we have an obligation to make everyone feel at ease? Would it be respectful to give the quiet, shy, "first timers on the net", traditional, conservative, ultra religious, embarassed, a chance too - to get to know another fast moving world at a slower pace?
Like my Chinese friend who got out of iPeace immediately, I am sure that if the comments towards him were not too political, he might have stayed here longer, understood more, offered more, and felt more comfortable for a longer time. People probably jumped at the chance to tell him things "like it is" and free themselves of their honest thoughts, but isn't it better to go slower and wait for others to learn slowly about philosophies, etc that are contradictory to theirs?
Being originally from Los Angeles, I know what it means to live in a fast-moving city, and a wild one at that.
Living also in Berkeley, California, I met plenty of people who were into different kinds of movements, philosophies, and many "flower children".
But travelling to China, New Zealand, and many other European countries gave me the experience to see that
not everything I was used to doing or seeing was acceptable - briefly, from walking barefoot into American supermarkets, to wearing two piece swimsuits, it wasn't accepted easily when I jogged in the streets of Rome barefoot, and wore a bikini at a pool in China. The uncomfortable feeling was both mine and theirs. And to avoid it any longer, I ran no longer without shoes, and changed into a one-piece suit.
Respect is something that creates the groud for people feeling more at ease, and from that we can have the honor to finally get to know people from India, Chinese, Arabs, etc from up close. We don't really lose anthing if we cannot be ourselves from the beginning, not show too much of ourselves (!) we only gain in making it more comfortable for others to get close, and then we can finally get to know them, without scaring them away from the very start.
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(please help me with this one .- if that is some famous person, I live in Italy and don't know who it is!)
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Permalink Reply by Madhava Menon on
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I joined ipeace only recently and have not participated in any discussions, however this post did come to my attention and I thought I should respond. Actually I am still trying to understand the basic premise behind this forum, and will need some more time to do that.
Although I am from India, which most would consider a very "conservative" country, I do not think I am excessively so. From what I could garner from the discussion on this topic, the question is not just of low cut blouses, it is about the need to respect a culture and practices different from our own. No culture is superior or inferior to our own, it is just different, we just need to give people the space and the respect to follow their own practices without in any way being judgemental about them.
The issue is really more than just a low-cut blouse or a nude picture, or even nudity per se. It is about respect for the other person. What is offensive is really relative, and it is only through a direct interaction with another person will one be able to understand where to draw the line.
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Your comments are valuable to me, and to others I believe. Perhaps you want to take it a step further now or in the future.
Thanks
Stephanie
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have you ever been to a grateful dead concert whenever a nudist walked bye there was some wheres your clothes some giggiling some hooting but they were part of the whole and after everybody stopped laughing about his or her short comings most people seemed a little freer at least for a couple of seconds
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