Which nationalities feel most at ease on iPeace, and anyone feel uncomfortable for anything they read or see here? Living out of my country, and receiving many international guests, I have experienced many occasions where I myself, or others make, let's call them "mistakes" because I or others don't know the customs of a country. There may be an uncomfortable feeling because one of us says or does something that is not customary. These are just a few of my own personal experiences and others I have never learned exactly what the reasoning behind them was.

l. A Russian guest visiting in Italy, rather than wait for me when I went to say hello to a friend in a cafè, completely disappeared (he walked back silently to his hotel).

2. I, in another country (English speaking) was told that perhaps my (totally innocent) pun offended people and I should probably watch it next time

3. Here, my Chinese friend stopped iPeace after one day, which he and I were sorry about. Even though he was interested in knowing about other nationalities and their thoughts, perhaps the direct mail to him expressed things he didn't feel comfortable in discussing, and that he didn't agree with.

The list goes on, and anyone who has traveled, or lived most their life out of their home country understands this more than others.

If you read the majority of discussions and blogs here, you will see that certain countries do not partecipate actively. This is to be expected.

I am thinking though, that probably some people would even like to comment on things, or bring up discussions, but only observe and learn about the rest of the world through their reading and remain on the "outside".

I am wondering if perhaps, some are scared off by some of the more, let's say, original and provocative writings and photographs. Although they may be interested, attracted to, and even in agreement with what they see and read, their own cultures may almost prohibit them to express themselves without being perhaps judged as being too liberal.

NOW having said that - I have learned through my own experience, especially in China, that my friends there were very interested in every single thing about me and my life. It was all new to them, "I" was new to them. But if I would have shocked them with details, news, experiences, photos, whatever, right from the start, I think I may have lost them, without being able to get close at all.
Things exist, nudity, erotic writing, sensuality, and here, people are getting close, some of them pretty close, I believe. But many iPeace members, I believe, are definitely not used to these things in "their world" and it may be something that, rather than inform them of these things, and the ease in which many many countries of the world discuss it, view it, show it, makes them decide to immediately leave, without continuing at all.

This is a shame, and may be summed up by these people with a negative idea like "it is too libertal" or "I don't agree with this kind of thinking". Getting out for good, they will lose all the wonderful things they could have gotten here.

On a lighter note, it's a little like Italian television, for those living in Italy you know what I am talking about. Women news reporters when giving the news, often wear very low cut shirts and jackets. Even during the war in Kosovo, I noticed that their attire was the same or even "worse" in order to get more viewers. It was extremely noticeable, and in terrible taste due to the subject they were reporting. Finally someone somewhere must have said STOP, and the day after the lowcut shirts got buttoned up a bit more. Perhaps someone realized that they had to think about the general public (including children!) who were in front of the television.

Should we put a few more buttons on iPeace in order to attract the more timid, conservative, traditional countries and give them a chance to slowly learn what "our glorious world" is all about? What are your thoughts?

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I like this free feeling, but I think it's not the same thing. Perhaps good discussion topic? Feeling free?
Stephanie,
Very well written thread. And thank you for posting it. I can tell you from experince through my travels globally that yes, sometimes we must be a bit more cautious on the way we approach people from other cultures. I have learned to just be myself and if anyone has a question to answer them with a timid tone at first. In order for people to grow "comfortable" in my company I first must build a trusting relationship with them. I hope I am doing that here on IPEACE. This site has provided so much support and help for me, from members in many different countries. I think its just a matter of individual acceptance. Every individual must navigate this path in thier life and find their own "comfort zone". Just some thoughts.

As for the Italian female reporters and low cut blouses, I can tell you only this:
One of the main reasons I love Europe is their advanced mindset when it comes to self-expression and their total lack of body shame. I mean, Here is a place on the planet where people for the most part, do not judge you solely on appearance alone, they also look at your mind and personality as well. When I would pass through southern Spain, France and yes, even Naples, Italy, I felt completely accepted for who I was and met some of the greatest people their. I know sexualty sells, but the Europeans seem to have such a romantic mindset of what true sensuality is that I have a great deal of respect for them. Plus, I must disclose that I am biased to begin with, I love European women, they have an air of confidence about them and they seem to just know how to be not just a lover, but a friend.
Just some other thoughts for you and thank you for posting this thread.

Your Friend,
Ty
This was good reading, Thanks for sharing this. In Texas (USA) we are a very friendly bunch, I come from a family who didn't really share there deepest thoughts, but was always ready to feed you food and come together for fellowship.
I on the other hand wanted to talk about everything I saw and Learn and I always wanted to ask alot of questioned, I found that, that made a lot of the older people in my family feel really unconfortable. So I have learned to when I'm in a new culture I sit back and watch and learn and alot of my questions get answered.
Hi, Stephanie !!! My reading of English is very slow. Excuse me for this problem. But I am determined to understand all ideas that I can see and read ... !!! Because only with perseverance the objectives will be realized !!! I am in this road !!! Thanks and Congratulations !!! Hugs to You and all members of iPeace because is just and necessary !!! Love and Peace
Greetings . Great comments . ' Low cut blouses ' is a great way to introduce this subject . As people who are
trying to promote and spread peace , this a very relevant . It seems to be a part of Human Nature , that some
folks will choose to go elsewhere , if they find posts that they are not comfortable with . Some folks , at least
at times , like a bit of shock value , BUT some folks , once again depending on their mood , definitely do
not like to be shocked . We should try to get the support of as many people as possible on this site .

Having read the many posts , it is good to see the diversity of opinions , and pertinent responses to those
opinions . My opinion is that we should definitely " do up a few buttons " to offer peace to others . This
should not restrict a person , in being able to post comments that are controversial . Proper manners are a
basis of any community , and should be respected in our community here . Consideration , is not usually hard
to demonstrate , and that should lead to respect .

I may reflect my traditional upbringing in this area , but it is my opinion that nude photos do not belong here .
The profile of the person who posted that photo , shows them to be a male . The inclusion of photos is a
great benefit when meeting new people . My feelings are , that the intention of the web designer is to have a
photo of the individual , or something something that they feel is attractive , and suitable . I would support the
moderator of this group , if they chose to find that photo as unsuitable . Could that be defined as censorship?
Probably could , or it could be defined as good taste . Which is more peace provoking ?
I responded to the issue of nude photos because of the objections expressed by an iPeace member and his request that they be banned. But since then, there's been much discussion drawing an analogy between visiting another country, and respecting that country's culture while there, and postings on iPeace. I don't think that the analogy applies. How many cultures are represented here? Each of us is in her own country, her own culture, expressing what she values to others with different viewpoints.

What we agree on--I hope, anyway--is that violence is not the way to solve problems. The other rule we all agreed to is not to use this site to promote for-profit businesses, or to spam. Fair enough.

Beyond that, though, why should expression be proscribed? Nude photos are expression of a belief system just as much as words are--and of course, proscribing words has become the next topic of discussion. This sort of thing always turns into a slippery slope.

If a list of rules were drawn up about what pictures we might post, and what idiomatic phrases we might use, and what ideas we might express, based on what anyone, from any country, might find offensive, could there ever be a substantive discussion about anything on iPeace? I argue that there could not.

What is offensive, and what is in good taste, is entirely subjective, and determined by both cultures and individuals. If we're going to get along peaceably, perhaps we need to work harder at looking upon that which we object to without reflexively deciding that the person who showed it to us needs to be prohibited from doing so. Personally, I object to fundamentalism of any stripe, but I wouldn't presume to tell an evangelical pastor that he can't put text on his iPeace page telling me I'm going to hell unless I accept his version of Jesus. (I can be polite; I'm picking on fundamentalists from my own country to avoid offending those from others.) I also object to the actions of the government of China, and the policies of my own government toward China. If I can't say so here, what's the point? I hope no one's suggesting that whatever anyone posts here be palatable to the Chinese government. If so, I have only two words in response: FREE TIBET.

Peaceful acceptance and agreement are two entirely different things. We will not agree on everything. We should not, because then the wonderful dialectic that drives the evolution of human thought would cease. But we must accept (ideas, not oppression) if there is to be peace.
Greetings . Banning a person was not the suggestion , on my regards . A suggestion , to edit ones
profile , may seem a little more appropriate .

These are good examples of , the " slippery slopes ", that are so often encountered in the real
world . If people who take the time to read iPeace , have trouble agreeing , how will people
caught in genuine conflicts , often with a history to it , resolve their differences ?

My suggestion , is by looking at the outcomes , of peaceful resolution OR continuing conflicts .

In the first instance , we may save our grandchildrens future , in the second instance we will
destroy this Earth . Probably just for the living things , the rocks will still be here .

Unity , is absolutely vital for survival . If we do not change , everyone loses .
Gorebul warming , does not offer alternatives . Mother Natures rules , have been bent to breaking
point , yet our species , cannot agree on hardy anything . Our Human Nature , has sure got us
into a real bind . Do we look at our world Physically , or do we view things with Emotions ?

Every other living thing on this planet , lives to earn its survival . Why not us ? ? ?
I must say that this is one of the best threads. I enjoyed reading almost every single post in it.
The only comment that I will add is that in iPeace we are celebrating diversity. We will never ban a person for being different. First, different from what exactly? We come from over 180 countries and it is un-acceptable for us to have a 'ruling' culture. We are truly borderless. Secondly, I believe that the essence of making peace is being able to empathize with someone who IS different than you.

Also, we never censor. We ban. And when someone is banned, his content goes with her or him.
We ban for spamming, for personal attacks and abuse, stalking and for systematically harvesting our members for outside sites. But banning has been really minimal since iPeace launch.
Stephanie,

You asked "Should we put a few more buttons on iPeace in order to attract the more timid, conservative, traditional countries and give them a chance to slowly learn what 'our glorious world' is all about?"

I think it might require a little more cross-cultural education and understanding than 'a few extra buttons' could handle.

You might be interested to know that this problem of cross-cultural differences in etiquette has been studied in the business environment for some time now. In the 60's and 70's, the Dutch psychologist, Geert Hofstede while working in the HR department of IBM's European headquarters, developed a series of 'dimensions' that measured different aspects of cross-cultural psychology.

Here are the basic ' cultural dimensions' of Hofstede's system:

PDI Power Distance Index
IDV Individualism
MAS Masculinity
UAI Uncertainty Avoidance Index
LTO Long-Term Orientation

You can learn more about these dimensions (and how each country 'ranks' on these variable scales) at Hofstede's website at: http://www.geert-hofstede.com/hofstede_dimensions.php

Like the Myers-Briggs categorization scales for personalities - there is no 'good' and 'bad' here, just a language for comprehension. For instance the 'Uncertainty Avoidance Index' measures how much a culture can tolerate ambiguity (particularly in relationships), and the formal structures that the culture maintains to assure clarity of roles and relationships.

Malcolm Gladwell's new book 'Outliers' has a fascinating analysis of how these factors contribute to the way airline pilots and co-pilots interact with one another when encountering flight difficulties, and how these unspoken cultural rules might lead to an increased risk of an airline crash. Gladwell says the the countries whose culture is the most reliant on rules and plans to determine the correct action (regardless of circumstances) are:
1. Greece
2. Portugal
3. Guatemala
4. Uruguay
5. Belgium

So these countries rank highest on the 'uncertainty avoidance' scale, and the countries who rank lowest on this scale (which means they are the most tolerant of ambiguity) are:

49. Hong Kong
50. Sweden
51. Denmark
52. Jamaica
53. Singapore

So Hofstede was not saying that these dimensions are an ironclad predictor of how someone from a particular country is going to behave, but rather a recognition that overlaid on top of our individual personality, are the tendencies, assumptions, and reflexes that are handed down by the history of the community we grew up in.

These cultural differences are extraordinarily specific. Specific enough that someone has developed a 'Cultural GPS', based on Hofstede's 5 dimensional model. This application is intended for visitors to a foreign culture, with the intent of helping that visitor learn how to 'navigate' these cultural differences in an informed manner.

So check out this iPhone application, Stephanie: "a Global Positioning System to navigate through intercultural differences" at the website below. And let me know if you think learning how to use Hofstede's model and its terminology would be worthwhile for comprehending differences in cultural etiquette on a global scale. You can also download a 'lite' version of this CulturalGPS application for free, to explore its capabilities.

http://www.culturegps.com/CultureGPS/About.html

Dave
Dave
I just now wrote to you on your own page (I was reading your page to find out more about you). If you are more clever than me, please can you put it on this page too? I tried, and failed. Must get to bed.
The only way Europe is further ahead than America is the time - it's midnight now and only 3pm there, I believe.
Thanks
Stephanie
Happy Holiday Greetings from India,

Right from the attention-grabbing title to the topic and the many responses from iPeace members belonging to versatile cultural backdrops and various perspectives, the thread is really engaging. I think our own individuality influences how we take our own culture and tend to take a filtered form of the cultural riches to our succeeding generations, especially in tune with the changing times when individual liberty is much more emphasized than ever. While individuality sows seeds for differences even within cultural boundaries, the phenomena of being human clubs us all together under one umbrella.. in spite of the multitude, there is so much generality around.
Such important observations, thanks for sharing your valuable thoughts. Pre holiday time it's hard to sit at the computer and hard to concentrate on writing while so much is happening in our homes. I still am waiting for more iPeace members from every part of the world to reply. I feel that we have to have a strong input from everyone in order to get to the bottom of things, otherwise we may miss some of the real truths, that will be so important to really understanding, as we say in America "where people are coming from" or, for those who do not understand this expression, it means what your initial life experiences brought you to believe, and the way you are today, due to your past experiences.
Must go, will be back.
Happy Holidays, stay well
Stephanie

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