I STARTED A JOKE ON MY AIM TO THE BEATLES (please forgive my mistakes)

THE BEATLES were handsome and cute, and... rich... and famous... and had communication ... and power.

i was really amazed, but not at all happy.

On the copntrary.

Whern I heard the last chord at a piano, very long achhord, in the end of

A Day in the Life (a Beatle Song),

it was nearly Death to me.

I felt death on me and all around.

Frustration.

My idols were so good and so distant of what i could really do.

And I loved them SO much, much more than I loved myself.

And I did not love myself at all.

I did not have nearly, ANY self respect.

it took me years to realize what self respecft means.

i ried to suicide in 1975 and 1976, it was not possible. So they took me to a hospital and the hospital damaged SEVERELY my right arm.

I went away from the hospital with paralysis (presthesis) of the right arm.

It was agin a disire to die, REALLY>

A physician from my family came here - while on those days, there was a family doctor. Now, everything is socialistic, and stupid, nearly EVERYTHING.

You know what I MEAN? EVERYTHING???

I say it again, consciously: EVERYTHING is rotten nowadays, and hypocrisy makes you more or less alive, living in a limbo, totaly NEEDY of aproval of otheres saying that yor book is good, your voice is good, your song is good, your food is delicious, yous paintings ar fine, your sex is marvelous, and so many things.

But the day you start having some phenomenon called SELF respect. you start INDEPENDING on otyheres (f.) oppinions. because all oppinions ARE (f.) oppinios. They are invasive. You never ASKED for oppnions, why should you: if you ASK for an oppinio, then it is OK.

You asked for it and you be kind and polited, reverent, and at least, please, LISTEN to the answer.

So I was on bed all day, totaly (f.) and I just wanted to die.

So I used my left hand to take a cup of water, just independently of my mother and all in the house.

IT WAS POSSIBLE.

So i had an insight that if it is possible to do it alone, just a glass of water, with the left hand? So, why not all other things also? Life is here and wants o perpetuate itself no matter you want to die...

Who are you, anyway?

To decide your own death? Are you a God or something to decide that?

So I decided also to use a piece of a bicicle and some gadgets and I could make a pedal. The pedal had a chord, and a pick would play the guitar chords (striogs I mean) when I jsut pressed the pedal. so I could play the guitar with only the left hand using and the right foot.

But when I ended the (f.) pedal I noticed that I was strong in the arm to make a movement on the guitar. But I had to UHU (glue) a pick on my fingers with adhesive tape.

A man took me to a factory to make a keyboard with 4 kesy so i could play the bass guitar.

Whe the project was ready, JUST AS A MIRACLE - and it was - I could play with two finger slightly, the strings, So as Polyanna and the gadgets to paralytics, I did not need the keyboards.

Then I was invited to conduict an orchestra and I would play all parts of the piano just with the left. Actually I felt a bit ANTI-SOCIAL (F.-off!!!") - I thought.

Osho states now:

"What did you gain wih this rotten society? Excpet murdetings, sufferings, fight, lack of self respect, pain, more sufferings, suicidal tendencies, self destructiveness... what else did you have from this society, from the relation with others, except pain, sadness, lack of support - and you actually do not need any support. You think you need support from others because you do not know you are absolutely able to do everything alone, without ANY support. All supports had made you crippled." - he says.

And OSHO is right.

You don't need any supoort.

Just go to the page here on iPeace of the adorable KARA JOHNSTAD, a singer and radio producer, CD producer, music manager. of her own. She says that even in RCE they wanted even to choose what kin' of dress she wanted to use, in the shows.

Just see what they did with poor Elveis Presley, transformed into a male prostitute, with those stupid dressings, CHOSEN not by him, but from the managers. Who are they, anyway?

Just search for the word KARA JOHNSTAD here on iPeace and you will FEEL what is a human being who IS herself, and she DOES IT, and she DOES IT GOOD. Just go there, but finish here first, please.

So I kept on recovering - it was 1976, 34 years before.

The big trouble now is that I am SO FAST tecckling the keyboard that I just commit many mistakes.

if you go here on iPeace on my videos, you will be surprised. i am one of the greatests musicians EVER, I sing tremendously well, I know myslef a bit, and I know that when I sing I ain't a male chauvinist... on the contrary, when I sing, I am rahter a woman. You can go there, you will se a man, but the style of interpretation is female-like - NOT FEMINIST, mind you.

feminism can destroy the whole of humanity, destroying a man's pride, That is totaly wrong.

Do you think I do not suffer?

You should see me past november or decvember, I jsut wanted to beat horribly my head unto the wall. And the woman had been a feminist, and so charming.

Oh Lord. of the Full Monn. Just save me from that.

And I love her up to now, what to do... hormones, and spirituality.

But, good news also.

November December, I suffered SO >INTENSELY< pain, and meditation, guilt and sorrow, that I threw most of my ANGER, chronic anger away.

Even anger for having an atrophied arm.

Result:

I started to recover now in January, the INTEREST and the AIM to use my right arm again.

And with that i am starting to use my left side of brain, and its rational functions.

rather that playing and singing the whole day, and meditation, being intuitive, I am also being RATIONAL again enough to write here in 15 thousand stories.

And life is easy.

A Day in thje Life continues being a good song from the heavens past before. I nearly can't remember, but I remember Paul's face.

Paul, i will meet you one day, you will see me.

Love

anand TAZA (herrmann lmeke) BRAZIL São Paulo    Thank you for reading this here.