Relationships are Not a Solo Act, They Are a Shared Responsibility
Ascended Master, Lady Nada’s Weekly Message ~ January 09 – 16, 2014
Received by Julie Miller
January 09, 2014
Relationships can be pretty unpredictable especially when the person you are in the company of is a dear and trusted friend or a family member. It is essential Beautiful Bright Hearts that you keep in mind while facing any kind of conflict that you are not to control the entire relationship all on your own. To have a relationship dear ones; means there is more than one person involved. Even if the vitality and vigorousness of the relationship thrives or fades into nothingness you are not to carry the responsibility of the dynamics of the relationship on your own – it is a shared responsibility.
When you are in the middle of a family situation where difficult problems have surfaced, it may be normal for you to try and control how it will turn out. You may find yourself encouraging the other person to change their ways and you will discover occasionally this tactic works especially if your request is reasonable and the other person involved is willing to try. What we see most is that this approach often leads to even more frustration and unhappiness.
We encourage Beautiful Bright Hearts, if the person is unwilling to change then maybe accepting them for who they are as they are is the way to be. Yes even this can be frustrating and it is possible that resentments will begin to filter in, but unless you try you will not know what will be most effective.
There are always other helpful and positive alternatives to bringing new growth and changes to the other person that is involved in the dispute or troubling situation. If you are unable to get the other dear soul to change, and if you are not successful at accepting them for who they are as they are, then you also have the opportunity of bringing in enough changes to yourself in such a way that you see the problem with a different light and in most cases a workable solution evolves. Of course this way of thinking does require you to be aware of the internal and external conflicts, and allowing yourself to look outside of your comfort zone in order to redefine the problem and explore other options that would be effective to the issue at hand. Many times dear ones as you explore other new concepts and ideas to help bring problems to an end, you own awareness expands and provides you with new learning opportunities that are beneficial to all that is involved.
Try to look at the negativity of the troubling situation from your Inner Self, and discover the negative energies are also a reflection of your thoughts in conflict. When you are able to observe what is happening from within, solutions will begin to manifest and resolutions will make their way known. By seeing from within, you are able to re-establish some peace and tranquility and bring these necessary qualities into bringing the troubling situation to a satisfactory end.
Many times Beautiful Bright Hearts you will discover that some of your conflicts come from your belief systems and values that require you to look a little deeper at them, making the important decision to possible let go of some of them in order to replace them with new empowering and inspiring beliefs and ways of living and being. Feel what is right by tuning into the rhythm of your heart. Let your heart be your guide and trust that it will always show you the path that is best for you to take that will provide you with the best solution.
When you are having problems with your family and they treat you with disrespect, think of how you would react if the same ill-mannered behaviour was thrown at you from a total stranger. Would you tolerate the same kind of behaviour from a stranger? If the answer is no, then why would you allow ill-mannered behaviour be accepted in the home? What are your beliefs that allow ill-mannered behaviour to continue in your home if you don’t allow strangers to treat you the same way? The answers you discover will provide much for you to learn from, many truths for you to face and possibly changes that need to be implemented.
We know how deeply you love your family and those dear souls you consider friends, but remember no matter how much you love someone it is okay to not accept their disrespect. It is important to choose your words well when expressing your disapproval, as well it is essential to let the other person know that their actions and possibly their words as well is creating disharmony and unhappiness. We know how difficult it can be for you living in a home where each person has their own concept of what is valuable and important to them. Yet despite the differences, it is more than possible to get along happily, respectfully and lovingly with one another. You may discover Beautiful Bright Hearts that some members of your family may not be as close as you would prefer because of your differences of values and opinion, but that is when you accept the relationship for what it is, not for what it isn’t.
Your beliefs and values on what family means is your choice even if that means turning a blind eye to ill-mannered behaviours that you would not tolerate from a complete stranger. Not everyone has a family that is completely supportive of your spiritual preferences or life choices because not everyone thinks the exact same way. Many dear souls find more closeness with non-family members that they end up becoming an extended part of their family – they are a source of strength and support that is so needed and very empowering.
Being loyal to your family is a noble value, but think about what it means dear ones to be loyal. Taking the time to discover what family loyalty means to you may very well encourage you to accept newer beliefs and ways of living. Adding loyalty to your list of family values will inspire you to always come from your highest and best self. Committing to this mental shift and choice can bring on growing pains as you adjust but in the long run dear ones you will discover the peace of mind you were searching for all along. And as you add in loyalty to your family values, you may discover you have added dear friends that are closer to you than some family members into this value as well. Family isn’t just with people that share your blood, family can extend far beyond this concept and include others that feel as if they are your brother, sister, aunt or uncle and sometimes many other dear souls take on a feeling of a parental role – these dear people are also a part of your family.
When it comes to trying to solve a problem that exists within your family, become aware of what is going on from a higher level of your normal working consciousness, look into your values and beliefs, and what defines family and loyalty and determine what it is that you are truly trying to get across. Many times dear ones as you are looking from a higher perspective the problem that once seemed so large has become really quite small and will dissolve on its own. What happens dear ones is that you will either transcend the troubling issue and find a newer and better way to continue with the relationship without any conflict or you will come to the conclusion that you have truly outgrown the relationship in its current shape and that you are permitting yourself to move on to a new description of what family means.
When you finally let go of a problematic relationship issue, what you are really saying good-bye to is an old part of yourself that you have outgrown. Allow all the negativities pass from your consciousness. As you cleanse the negativity from the inside by ridding yourself of negative thoughts and feelings you also begin sweeping the negative people from your life as well. There does come a time Beautiful Bright Hearts when you must let go of some people in your life. This can be a sad change yet it is also a very liberating change. Remember each person that you meet and bring into your life all comes with a season and always a reason. You may not know how long they are to be a part of your life and we know you will hope for a lifetime but enjoy the time you have, allow their presence to be meaningful and important – learn all you can about yourself and the world through them and when it’s time to let go, let go with confidence that the love that was shared hasn’t ended it has just changed and change is an essential part of life.
There is a beautiful rainbow dear ones at the end of the process any time you have allowed a relationship to end or to remove an old way of being from your life. When there is no other workable solution and in order to resolve all conflicts – letting go also helps to also bring resolve into your own consciousness. Where you once felt weakened by a relationship being tremendously stressful and difficult you will have liberated yourself enough to be able to attract new relationships that will resonate with your freshly expanded level of awareness and consciousness which will allow your true self to shine brilliantly.
In basic truth dear ones, you always attract in your life what you already are. Remember if you don’t like the situation you are in, we encourage you to take control of your Self and end the thoughts that are attracting similar situations. When you realize the true nature of the external struggles you are experiencing what happens Beautiful Bright Hearts is that you automatically translate the problem into your internal version – and you may feel your life is more-often-than-not out of your ability to control it. When you are able to recognize the problem as being external any solutions you have tried may also take the shape of trying to control the dear souls you are in disagreement with and most likely dear ones you will be greeted by strong resistance. Yet when you recognize that the problem is more of an internal one it becomes much easier to figure out. If the other person in your discussion demonstrates controlling behaviour towards you, remember you may not be able to change them, but you are able to bring more control into your own life which will provide you with the ability of bringing in the changes needed to bring an end to the problem you were facing.
Each relationship you are part of, even with the ones you learn to let go are all helpers to the expansion of your own consciousness and awareness. Through your ability of recognizing and finding solutions to relationship issues and problems you are also making yourself handle your own internal disagreements. As each of you become more aware from the inside, your relationships will also expand and become enhanced on the outside.
And so it is…
I AM Ascended Master, Lady Nada through Julie Miller