halfway through watching i had a distinct feeling

...never enjoyed a film, never enjoyed art.  it 
was a feeling of priceless joy.  halfway through.
a minute in and i saw huge "?!" in my mind...
...most of last month, before i gave it away, 
i was carrying on my person fifty-two Dali prints
from the American Dali museum...just to get 
inspired and stay inspired. it worked, but...i saw this
and it was something living, something real...
it spoke eloquently to the misogynist swine that i 
was forced to give up on because they were too 
damned fascistic and stupid.  their way or no way at 
all, they would begin to chant lies like "reverse Buddhists" 
or something, it was woefully stupid, hated misogynist scum...
and then i remembered...i had bookmarked it in February...
...fevered...no one can stop me from making Art at all...
...but the mental battle has had to do with lies, lies and
lies about what can be done, what can not be done and why.
the mental battle with the denials of others showed me that 
my heart/mind connection was completely on and working...
while others were turning into unsolicited Denial Judges, 
simply, as fascists, shouting "overruled!" to any suggestion that 
was other than their agenda.  fascist, totalitarian, Nazi...what they 
were and are.  anti-intellectual is also a term...
truth to tell, intellect without intuition, thought devoid of emotional content 
is still Ahriman, the human demon.  but it is that entity, that "thought-form"
that is at the root of fascism...
i still don't "know" about the legends of Dali being a rampant misogynist,
but that might not surprise me should it turn out to be fact based.
these woman haters.  they rouse in me the urge to decapitate them,
as if it were caveman days and they were routinely defecating into the 
only water supply...(RIGHT, LUCY?)  
it's ultimately the same issue as the environment, as in
the earth is our mother and these misogynist swine 
go about speaking of females in exactly the same way as 
Hitler and his sort would speak of the jew.
spending all that time around Thanksgiving studying Gnosis and the so-called
"lost gospels," and why they were lost.  a fantastic feeling of understanding...
discerning that so many people are driven insane by these relatively ancient yokes
because they lack understanding.  often, especially in the case of the Judeochristian mysteries, 
because individuals and organizations of individuals specifically sought to maintain
confusion, a lack of understanding, obfuscation.

Here, too, however, as in the Gospel of Mary, Peter challenges and opposes the presence of women among the disciples. According to saying 114 in The Gospel of Thomas, Peter says to Jesus, “Tell Mary to leave us, for women are not worthy of (spiritual) life.” But instead of dismissing Mary, as Peter insists, Jesus rebukes Peter, and declares, “I will make Mary a living spirit,” so that she—or any woman--may become as capable of spiritual life as any man would have been in first century Jewish tradition .

We find yet another account of an argument in which Peter challenges Mary’s right to speak among the disciples in the dialogue called Wisdom of Faith. Here, after Mary asks Jesus several questions, Peter breaks in, complaining to Jesus that Mary is talking too much and so displacing the rightful priority of Peter and his brother disciples. Yet, here too, just as in the Gospel of Mary Magdalene and the Gospel of Thomas, Peter’s attempt to silence Mary earns him a quick rebuke, this time from Jesus himself. Later, however, Mary admits to Jesus that she hardly dares to speak with him freely, because, she says, “Peter makes me hesitate; I am afraid of him, because he hates the female race.” Jesus replies that whoever the Spirit inspires is divinely ordained to speak, whether man or woman.

This theme of conflict between Mary and Peter that we find in so many sources—conflict involving Peter’s refusal to acknowledge Mary as a disciple, much less as a leader among the disciples--may well reflect what people knew and told about actual conflict between the two. We know, too, that since women often identified with Mary Magdalene, certain people in the movement told such stories about her—or against her—as a way of arguing about whether—or how—women could participate in their circles.


(this stuff re: the Gospels is definitely worthy of another discussion elsewhere...)

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