Peace Needs to Begin In the Home
I've been working with a group of both abused men and women. Yesterday, a woman posted this:
From abused friend, "WICKED."
STILL SCARED ~EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS YO(intense blog) Nov 1, '08 11:48 PM
for everyone
I can still hear it now
the voice of him yelling at me
telling me that I am no good
no more
I can feel his hands beating
again my head
while my hands covered my head
and my hand and arrms have bruises
on them
He still puts me down
Why is he doing this and why am I getting
blamed
He kicks me tell me to get up and
start cooking so our burgers won't burn
I feel him standing above me
ready to beat me
My head is so tender that I sleep with an
ice pac on it to get rid of th bruises
My shoulder and back was full of bruises
but I still see it in my mind as it was just yesterday
my lip all black and blue and my jaw
hurt so much I couldn't eat all the way.
Screaming in my ear telling me that
i am a peice of shit. That I am dumb.
Stupid and all that.
Telling me do this do that SHUT THE FUCK UP
what you crying about you sound like a baby
His girlfriend smiling and laughing while
he beats me.
I tell his his uncle
he comes home i get beat more
but of course i am getting blamed for getting hit
saying he never laid a hand on me nor touched me.
It's not fair
that I had to put up
with his crap and it won't happen again.
Hairline crack in my right wrist
where he hit me so hard i had
go to the ER and I still have
bruises on my wrist but fading
on my arm.
~COPYRIGHTED BY WICKED WOLF 10-29~
yes, this is a true story and i will not make this up i swear to God. it is time for me to tell you the real truth because i am scared still. scared of even leaving my apartment and i shouldn't. my x boyfriend was the one who did this to me. i don't care who knows. i am sick and tired of getting abused mentally, physically and verbally. he threatened me so much that i am scared even now. until i get a restraining order and HELL I WILL. i am afraid to go downtown like i did before. i can't do that and it's not right! i need to tell my cousin who is my protector here in ripon. he knows my ex and he will not like it what bill did to me. i am so damn lucky i have a MILITARY BOYFRIEND who will protect me and keep me safe when he will come home. he is everything i want. the poem i just wrote i just can still feel bills(my x) voice inside my head. threatening me. i had an image in my head tonight while i was takin out the trash. and it was scary about him coming behind me and beating me. i know he won't but still.. i worry... i hope my friend can take me out of ripon because i need a place to stay! i don't feel safe. god i feel like crying so so much. oh and if ya'll wanna know yes the cops did come take him to jail. friday morning we got into it he got pissed off at me and WHACKED me one on the head. i showed the M.F so i am not happy what i did. i choked him. turned his face red but i let go because i was scared and i reacted n a way i shouldnt had. He choked me the last few times and the first time he did that i thought i really was going to die! i wanted him to feel what i did. it probably was protecting myself cause i didnt deserve it what he did and he was beating me senseless. i got pics and i don't think you wanna see them because they are just horrible and the bruises are painful. the blog i m doing i am holding back my tears right now. never mess with me like he did. i do get mad but i did protect myself. the other thing i did was took a knife and stabbed myself in the hand the first time. the wound is healed and my doctor increased my meds and i am fine and better now. if anyone on my comments say i need help i will delete you because that is what i don't need from you. the meds keep me from doing shit like this. i think it was bill who got me pissed off and his damn ass girlfriend.
oh i got my glasses on but no i dont got a black and blue eye but their was one point i did, i had a black n blue eyes, chin, lip, fat lip, fat knuckle, it was just painful. but i am glad this is all over and until MY BOYFRRIEND comes home i will not be safe and that is just sad! i need to be protected and safe. and i am not. so i hope my friend from B.D comes and keeps me safe. please! also i learned that i cant take my splint off a long time cause my wrist starts to hurt bad and its not good.
also, my mother is controlling. she looked everything up on the police report about my x and she blamed me right away so now i feel like it is my fault. and i shouldnt feel like this. i mean, she will not let me grow the hell up now, won't let me go out at night alone when i am 29 yrs old. i feel totally without freedom and i need it and want it so she better not mess with my bf or she'll get it. i want my freedom. she is like my jailer. my parole officer. if she keeps it up im moving outta state for real cause i need my space and if she ruins it with my bf i will not forgive her and will not talk to her.
i still have bad dreams now and then. i wish my bf was here but i know he is in IRAQ FIGHTING for us/ our country and i want him to do a well done great job when he comes home to me. in one peice that is. my prince. i want a new life. i am done with this one. so ALL OF YA'LL, YES YA'LL WHO ARE READING THIS BLOG, i need lots of love and support right now. i am still scared and worried.
ps: in the pic the bruises i had one i had is gone but the other one is still under my splint and very clear and if i take it off you would see it. and at the time i was getting my ass beat i should not had cried but i did and that made it worse cause he told me to shut the fuck up. so that is why i get mad at myself when i cry. i got told not to cry. because i got told i am a BABY! oh and besides i have to be strong for the soldiers.
hope i can have ya'lls love and support now and just so you know i am not making it up. this is real! i am not looking for attention,
thanks for listenin to me and please KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS CAUSE I NEED IT
LUV YA LOTS
WW
Here's the "big man:"
abusers, woman, abuser
I think we should start a gallery of abusers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With this type of abuse taking place in homes, how can it help but spread to the rest of the world? Until we raise awareness that this type of behavior is intolerable, creating peace in the world is going to be impossible. Abuse does not equal love and without love there cannot be peace.
Cal-el
From abused friend, "WICKED."
STILL SCARED ~EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS YO(intense blog) Nov 1, '08 11:48 PM
for everyone
I can still hear it now
the voice of him yelling at me
telling me that I am no good
no more
I can feel his hands beating
again my head
while my hands covered my head
and my hand and arrms have bruises
on them
He still puts me down
Why is he doing this and why am I getting
blamed
He kicks me tell me to get up and
start cooking so our burgers won't burn
I feel him standing above me
ready to beat me
My head is so tender that I sleep with an
ice pac on it to get rid of th bruises
My shoulder and back was full of bruises
but I still see it in my mind as it was just yesterday
my lip all black and blue and my jaw
hurt so much I couldn't eat all the way.
Screaming in my ear telling me that
i am a peice of shit. That I am dumb.
Stupid and all that.
Telling me do this do that SHUT THE FUCK UP
what you crying about you sound like a baby
His girlfriend smiling and laughing while
he beats me.
I tell his his uncle
he comes home i get beat more
but of course i am getting blamed for getting hit
saying he never laid a hand on me nor touched me.
It's not fair
that I had to put up
with his crap and it won't happen again.
Hairline crack in my right wrist
where he hit me so hard i had
go to the ER and I still have
bruises on my wrist but fading
on my arm.
~COPYRIGHTED BY WICKED WOLF 10-29~
yes, this is a true story and i will not make this up i swear to God. it is time for me to tell you the real truth because i am scared still. scared of even leaving my apartment and i shouldn't. my x boyfriend was the one who did this to me. i don't care who knows. i am sick and tired of getting abused mentally, physically and verbally. he threatened me so much that i am scared even now. until i get a restraining order and HELL I WILL. i am afraid to go downtown like i did before. i can't do that and it's not right! i need to tell my cousin who is my protector here in ripon. he knows my ex and he will not like it what bill did to me. i am so damn lucky i have a MILITARY BOYFRIEND who will protect me and keep me safe when he will come home. he is everything i want. the poem i just wrote i just can still feel bills(my x) voice inside my head. threatening me. i had an image in my head tonight while i was takin out the trash. and it was scary about him coming behind me and beating me. i know he won't but still.. i worry... i hope my friend can take me out of ripon because i need a place to stay! i don't feel safe. god i feel like crying so so much. oh and if ya'll wanna know yes the cops did come take him to jail. friday morning we got into it he got pissed off at me and WHACKED me one on the head. i showed the M.F so i am not happy what i did. i choked him. turned his face red but i let go because i was scared and i reacted n a way i shouldnt had. He choked me the last few times and the first time he did that i thought i really was going to die! i wanted him to feel what i did. it probably was protecting myself cause i didnt deserve it what he did and he was beating me senseless. i got pics and i don't think you wanna see them because they are just horrible and the bruises are painful. the blog i m doing i am holding back my tears right now. never mess with me like he did. i do get mad but i did protect myself. the other thing i did was took a knife and stabbed myself in the hand the first time. the wound is healed and my doctor increased my meds and i am fine and better now. if anyone on my comments say i need help i will delete you because that is what i don't need from you. the meds keep me from doing shit like this. i think it was bill who got me pissed off and his damn ass girlfriend.
oh i got my glasses on but no i dont got a black and blue eye but their was one point i did, i had a black n blue eyes, chin, lip, fat lip, fat knuckle, it was just painful. but i am glad this is all over and until MY BOYFRRIEND comes home i will not be safe and that is just sad! i need to be protected and safe. and i am not. so i hope my friend from B.D comes and keeps me safe. please! also i learned that i cant take my splint off a long time cause my wrist starts to hurt bad and its not good.
also, my mother is controlling. she looked everything up on the police report about my x and she blamed me right away so now i feel like it is my fault. and i shouldnt feel like this. i mean, she will not let me grow the hell up now, won't let me go out at night alone when i am 29 yrs old. i feel totally without freedom and i need it and want it so she better not mess with my bf or she'll get it. i want my freedom. she is like my jailer. my parole officer. if she keeps it up im moving outta state for real cause i need my space and if she ruins it with my bf i will not forgive her and will not talk to her.
i still have bad dreams now and then. i wish my bf was here but i know he is in IRAQ FIGHTING for us/ our country and i want him to do a well done great job when he comes home to me. in one peice that is. my prince. i want a new life. i am done with this one. so ALL OF YA'LL, YES YA'LL WHO ARE READING THIS BLOG, i need lots of love and support right now. i am still scared and worried.
ps: in the pic the bruises i had one i had is gone but the other one is still under my splint and very clear and if i take it off you would see it. and at the time i was getting my ass beat i should not had cried but i did and that made it worse cause he told me to shut the fuck up. so that is why i get mad at myself when i cry. i got told not to cry. because i got told i am a BABY! oh and besides i have to be strong for the soldiers.
hope i can have ya'lls love and support now and just so you know i am not making it up. this is real! i am not looking for attention,
thanks for listenin to me and please KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS CAUSE I NEED IT
LUV YA LOTS
WW
Here's the "big man:"
abusers, woman, abuser
I think we should start a gallery of abusers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
With this type of abuse taking place in homes, how can it help but spread to the rest of the world? Until we raise awareness that this type of behavior is intolerable, creating peace in the world is going to be impossible. Abuse does not equal love and without love there cannot be peace.
Cal-el
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Peace_maker on
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I here you here pray and be loved here I understand its to bad ppl have to be abusive keep fighting and keep smiling God love you
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Permalink Reply by Neha Kamra on
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I hope, you grow out of the fear someday, and be free like bird. I have had a similar experience and can understand, how it haunts you, everyday of your life, and makes you feel worthless. But i want to tell you something, you dont have to take it anymore, coz you are a much better human being than anybody that ill treats you. You are much purer, so that you can share love and with the power of love, and faith, you can grow out of the darkness that was a part of your past. God Bless You.
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Permalink Reply by Van on
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Do not fear, for fear is the element that is intended. Be brave, see throughn your tears and firmly walk away. This is no fault of your own for many are decievers. so be not decieved remember that we are one and that one is many. The abuse starts with an unkind word and continues to grow if we do not isolate our abusers for they too are full of fear. Fight or flee is the two acceptable responses, some times all we have left is to flee. I speak from experience. Have eventually loved those who abused me. Peace and Love, Van
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Permalink Reply by Bill Wigram on
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dear WW we share the same initials, but your name holds more power, and your story of recent abuse is shocking, and I feel sure that many of us have read your words and felt the horror and have not felt able to respond adequately.
I am a man, and the abuse of women makes me ashamed of man-"kind"; we are not kind, and we have allowed the rule by fear in every level of our society, and look where the rule of man-"kind" has brought our world, to the brink of destruction.
I would like to see more Wild Love in our world, untamed love, more Wild Women, untamed by fear, and gentled with the knowing of love. In my travels of the past seven years I have heard so many stories of abuse of women by men, starting from the earliest childhood, using the threat of violence to have their way. The other messages below are true, let go of fear; for all of us this is true, we have nothing to fear but fear itself.
Try opening yourself to the love of all women who have ever lived, allow their power to flow into your heart, you become part of the flowing stream of love that is God's dream for us. My heart is open to you "Wicked" Wild Wolf, and holds you in a place of love along with everyone who knows your story; may your life flower now, may you feel that freedom and power which is you. -
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