Could almost write a record ;) The conviction was so strong at that time.
First it had to do with children. I knew all about them before I even had any. So they came into my life one by one. I tried in desperation to turn to my own produced record. But the answers that were there were not usable. They were just constructed theories and far from the reality that I lived in.
Had to fetch my ”red pencil” and remove my ”theoretical answers” one by one. More and more questions arose and the usable responses were fewer and fewer. When I finally was able to abandon the finished model, I could also learn from what I saw and draw conclusions from my own gained experiences .
The same went for politics. When you are young you knew everything about how the world came together. It had its obvious scapegoats. There were black and there was white. And you were absolutely convinced that you were at the "whites" page.
Connections and contexts were so blatant and obvious, that you could not understand how "the others" could be so stupid that they did not saw what we saw.
A slight feeling of complacency colored the politically active years. As time passed and the "truths" with it. Many of the obvious approach from youth and midlife were clouded The connections became more and more complicated and the white was no longer so white.
Something grey was spread over the innocent and obvious. There was considerable disappointment for all of us who most desperately and stubbornly held on to our political philosophy. Many of our answers were simply wrong. That was not more to it... Something that with hindsight was easy to find.
The next phase of life you do not feel so strongly to stand on the barricades and shout. Nevertheless, it will be proved in 20 years, when our actions are put into a larger, historical perspective that those who ”shout” today had not ”the Answers” either.
For how do the truth look like? Who sits on the answers? I have not many today. I'm glad if I can work on formulating questions ...