Attachment v Aversion
On joining first the Facebook group Passion for Peace and then the social network iPeace I couldn’t help notice something about the other members. They seem to me to fall into three categories – firstly those whose interest in peace is predominately founded on an attachment to peace itself, secondly those whose interest is mostly prompted by an aversion to war and violence and thirdly those whose interest is largely based on both attraction and aversion. I believe each type of member requires a different approach when it comes to encouraging their passion for peace to be used for peace activism.
People attracted to peace usually enjoy as peaceful and non-violent lives as possible. They tend to be more at ease with themselves than those whose interest in peace is founded on an aversion to war and violence. Of course they too have an aversion to violence but they have found a true love of the peaceful, non-harmful way. They are often quite apolitical, vegetarian, not at all violent to themselves (non-drinkers, non-smokers, not too thin, not too fat), seek harmony in everything and relating and mixing with similar-minded people. Their passion for peace is based on love and respect.
People predominantly attracted to peace because of their aversion to war and violence, are on the other hand often more political, they are more critical of other’s behaviour, often quite ignoring the damage they do to themselves eating excessively or too little, smoking, drinking, drugs, staying up all hours. They are not truly at peace with themselves although they are quick to criticise violence in others and hate wars and warmongers. This group tend to mix with others like themselves, preferring to take part in debates rather than seeking harmony at all costs. Their passion for peace can be based more on hate than love and more on lack of respect (especially of politicians and leaders) than respect. They listen to quite different music than the first group and follow a different drummer.
The majority of us who have joined the iPeace movement of course belong to the third category, those both loving peace and hating war in equal measure and probably find it objective if they are categorised at all.
One thing for sure is that we all need the support of each other if we are to be useful in creating peace on our planet. This means that all three categories of members mentioned must become fearless. They must become friends with each other, respect each other as advocates of peace and be open with each other on how we should move forward as together as possible. Those of us who find too much debate and criticism too much will have to use all their love and respect to reach out to those who are more impatient and critical of everything. Equally those who have an instinctual hate of warmongers and even incompetence in leaders will have to find a way of mixing with those whose quietness and apparent lack of passion they find insufferable. If we can’t help each other and reach out to each other we cannot really expect others to do so and peace will be forever just a part of our imagination.
People attracted to peace usually enjoy as peaceful and non-violent lives as possible. They tend to be more at ease with themselves than those whose interest in peace is founded on an aversion to war and violence. Of course they too have an aversion to violence but they have found a true love of the peaceful, non-harmful way. They are often quite apolitical, vegetarian, not at all violent to themselves (non-drinkers, non-smokers, not too thin, not too fat), seek harmony in everything and relating and mixing with similar-minded people. Their passion for peace is based on love and respect.
People predominantly attracted to peace because of their aversion to war and violence, are on the other hand often more political, they are more critical of other’s behaviour, often quite ignoring the damage they do to themselves eating excessively or too little, smoking, drinking, drugs, staying up all hours. They are not truly at peace with themselves although they are quick to criticise violence in others and hate wars and warmongers. This group tend to mix with others like themselves, preferring to take part in debates rather than seeking harmony at all costs. Their passion for peace can be based more on hate than love and more on lack of respect (especially of politicians and leaders) than respect. They listen to quite different music than the first group and follow a different drummer.
The majority of us who have joined the iPeace movement of course belong to the third category, those both loving peace and hating war in equal measure and probably find it objective if they are categorised at all.
One thing for sure is that we all need the support of each other if we are to be useful in creating peace on our planet. This means that all three categories of members mentioned must become fearless. They must become friends with each other, respect each other as advocates of peace and be open with each other on how we should move forward as together as possible. Those of us who find too much debate and criticism too much will have to use all their love and respect to reach out to those who are more impatient and critical of everything. Equally those who have an instinctual hate of warmongers and even incompetence in leaders will have to find a way of mixing with those whose quietness and apparent lack of passion they find insufferable. If we can’t help each other and reach out to each other we cannot really expect others to do so and peace will be forever just a part of our imagination.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Karen Kay on
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Good observation and I think you are largely on target, Gordon! I try to keep myself out of it ,but it must be my nature to stand up when I believe others are being persecuted. I'd like to share the text of an email I received and responded to yesterday....in retrospect I feel I might have been a bit harsh toward this nurse who wrote it. It was a lashing out by her of the victims of hurricane Gustav whom she was caring for at a shelter. Please read her email and my response, and let me know if I was out of bounds....Thanks!
Original email:
Subject: Evacuation Shelters
You wont hear this on the news!!!
Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 8:33 AM Before everyone thinks I am a terrible, prejudiced, horrible person, just wanted to send a copy of the letter I sent to the Times editors and Bill O'Reilly. Please pray that Hurricane Ike will NOT come to Louisiana -
Sherri
Dear Editor,
I am a nurse who has just completed volunteer working approximately 120 hours as the clinic director in a Hurricane Gustav evacuation shelter in Shreveport, Louisiana over the last 7 days. I would love to see someone look at the evacuee situation from a new perspective.
Local and national news channels have covered the evacuation and "horrible" conditions the evacuees had to endure during Hurricane Gustav.
True - some things were not optimal for the evacuation and the shelters need some modification. At any point, does anyone address the responsibility (or irresponsibility) of the evacuees?
Does it seem wrong that one would remember their cell phone, charger, cigarettes and lighter but forget their child's insulin?
Is something amiss when an evacuee gets off the bus, walks immediately to the medical area, and requests immediate free refills on all medicines for which they cannot provide a prescription or current bottle (most of which are narcotics)?
Isn't the system flawed when an evacuee says they cannot afford a $3 copay for a refill that will be delivered to them in the shelter yet they can take a city-provided bus to Wal-mart, buy 5 bottles of Vodka, and return to consume them secretly in the shelter?
Is it fair to stop performing luggage checks on incoming evacuees so as not to delay the registration process but endanger the volunteer staff and other persons with the very realistic truth of drugs, alcohol and weapons being brought into the shelter?
Am I less than compassionate when it frustrates me to scrub emesis from the floor near a nauseated child while his mother lies nearby, watching me work 26 hours straight, not even raising her head from the pillow to comfort her own son?
Why does it insense me to hear a man say "I ain't goin' home 'til I get my FEMA check" when I would love to just go home and see my daughters who I have only seen 3 times this week?
Is the system flawed when the privately insured patient must find a way to get to the harmacy, fill his prescription and pay his copay while the FEMA declaration allows the uninsured person to acquire free medications under the disaster rules?
Does it seem odd that the nurse volunteering at the shelter is paying for childcare while the evacuee sits on a cot during the day as the shelter provides a "daycare"?
Have government entitlements created this mentality and am I facilitating it with my work?
Will I be a bad person, merciless nurse or poor Christian if I hesitate to work at the next shelter because I have worked for 7 days being called every curse word imaginable, feeling threatened and fearing for my personal safety in the shelter?
Exhausted and battered,
Sherri Hagerhjelm, RN
My response:
Subject: RE: Evacuation Shelters
What is this supposed to mean? Let all drown who are not pristine members of society?
Do they not deserve our help? Perhaps they are the ones who need us the most!
Why do these unfortunate people have such lopsided priorities? What have we done to really help the underprivileged find a way out of their path?
Perhaps if we lavish love on those who are less fortunate than us instead of passing judgment,
we could indeed have no need for such shelters at all! Would not that be a better situation?
Love your neighbor! Love your neighbor or get out of the way.
Even if he lives on the wrong side of the tracks and forgets his kid’s insulin and drinks vodka and seeks narcotics….love him. In fact, love him especially if he does.
Your acts of kindness are not kind if done with grumbling under your breath.
If Sherri is this battered and insensitive about these lives, then she has no business pretending to be their servant in the first place. Do not ever let that woman set foot in a public service position volunteer or otherwise until she is healed of her ill feelings toward my brothers and sisters. Let us help her with her bitterness. Send her love, equally, alongside the so-called sinners she is so disgusted with.
Backtrack this response until it finds Nurse Hagerhjelm, and send her love along the way. Nurses do get battered and bruised….and it is admirable to do such work. However, it is not for everyone.
Peace! Peace I say!
Karen L. Kay -
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You are both right. I think part of my anger was not really directed at her, but at the people who are passing the email around. I do understand she was in a tough situation. By the time I got the email it had been forwarded about a dozen times. The spreading of the hatefulness....was my primary reason for the response, and I should have clarified that. Thank you for your honesty and for putting me in my place. I do have, like the nurse, likely, a great deal of passion, which I must remember to keep focused on the more peaceful path. Thank you for giving me a safe place to sound off!
Love & Peace,
KK
Rúach said:ouch...harsh words Karen.
First I wonder why you doubt your own words and seek affirmation of what your instinct is telling you.
Interesting how people see through different perspectives.
I see a kind hearted nurse offereing her time in a crisis situation. Her actions appear to come from a place of good intent I suspect. She saw reality...real life...real people, warts and all..and it hurt her.
Lets be honest...there is a lot of dishonesty in the world..and this nurse was pointing it out....
I'm not a catholic but didn't Jesus do the same in the Temple (the cleansing of the Temple)
I am sure that even through her hurting she still managed to do a lot of good work in the shelter. Honour her for that.
She was letting off steam, voicing her hurts and dissapointments in humanity. This does not make her a bad person or a battered and insensitive person. This makes her an honest person.
We can all attempt to live in a world of "love and light" and do our best. But perhaps this means being able to hold a compassionate space even for those who rage and shout internally.
I think this nurse needed some one to say "well done for giving your time voluntarily.. and yes we undersand that you saw things that caused you hurt and despair. We understand also that you did hte best that you could"
Compassion is all embracing.
Rúach -
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This was so perfect....was in my "weekly word from Joe" message today....
This Week's Word: Power
We often see power as the ability to overtake another person, team or country. When we win there is a feeling of power. I am better than you is a common feeling. This is not power, it is your ego.
When you possess true power you have a feeling of peace. It is not necessary to win or beat someone to prove it to yourself or anyone else. The most powerful people in the world are messengers of peace.
True Power = True Peace
...by Joe Nunziata
anyway, you guys are helping me to learn that....so rock on friends!
KK
Rúach said:thank you Karen for accepting our words with such dignity.
I agree..... passing such hatefulness around does not help anyone.
Your words also radiated deep compassion, understanding and passion. There was no judgment in my reply..neither did i hear it in Michael's.
I understand the importance of being able to say what is inside without being judged or condemned for it. As I know that these are only words in a moment of time. They are not the real US.
The REAL us knows and understands all.
warmest of heart wishes to you
Rúach -
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