"THE SILENT GLANCE"

 




Am I good enough? Available in exemplary sense of us all and labelled from the fact that no child can bear to punching out from their parents' patronage and approval.

This often means that children are forced to restrain their natural emotion impulses to be accepted and continue to "check up" throughout his childhood, whether he / she is approved or not.
Nothing is for a child as frightening as the threat of "homelessness" from the loss of a parent's love

”The silent glance” a term coined by James Hollis, Jungian, then continues in school, at work, in the family in society and on the Internet and its various forums

We check constantly whether we will do. A behaviour that persists from childhood and the feeling that was connected with just our parents, are then projecting out on other authorities in our lives

This implies that we are not living fully for fear of offending someone or awake anyone’s s antipathy. As this touches our old childhood fears of loosing our parents' care and protection

Therefore, I believe that so many children and subsequently adults have stifled their personality, emotions, etc. just to be loved

What would happen if all adults released their inhibitions, lived out their feelings and dared to declare all their thoughts and reflections without ”checking up” first whether it was viable or not.

We will never know.. because we are all slaves to these "silent glances"



TO SEARCH FOR OUR INNER CHILD

 

The way to our inner child is, among others,  to find out what “ the silent glance” did to us.  What did we, as children have to do to fit in, be accepted and loved.

 

By that “silent glance “ we knew exactly what our parents expected from us,and many followed what that glance told them…Without any spoken words the child added its own emotions and impulses to the side of the reward it is to get a parent's approval.

 

Here somewhere the child imprisoned in its desire to please. Here somewhere, a child was left behind who had a will of its own and conditions for a completely different development, but which ” the silent glance" stifled.

 

Who was that child?

 I think the whole life through we will try to found out that. We maybe never can tell for sure, but it’s here somewhere it got lost so it must be here we can find it, by analyzing what that ”silent glance” did to us.

It’s nobody’s fault as long as no violence is involved. It’s just the way it is

Our need for acceptance, appreciation and love is so strong that no child can resist it.

 

Parents may not even require or even wish this behaviour from the child, but by the silent glance the child read their parents in this way. Very often the child intuitively is right…and it get its ”reward” which make it profitable to maintain this behaviour…

Not only throughout the childhood but the whole life through.

 

Now ”the silent glance” is addressed to important persons in the surrounding from whom we need acceptance, approval or love… I love this expression and what it stands for so thanks to James Hollis who coined it. It makes every thing, concerning relationships, so much easier to understand and it provides us with hints about where to search for this our child within…

 

If we look closer to this childhood’s ”silent glance” we may be able to find out how this desperate need to fit in and be loved formed our personalities to those they are today.

 

But what happened to ”Those” who once were ”We” ? The child who gave up its own needs and desires to get that parental love, that no child can live without.

 

It is THAT child we need to find and get to know and give a renewed chance to develop into the person he /she was supposed to become

 

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Replies to This Discussion

Thank you Apolonia,

 for sharing that lovely and relaxing  song. So beautiful...so it hurts *smile*

Yes dear Gunilla, it's divine beauty hurts awaring us how  we are still far away from the SOURCE...

Yeah we are far away from that source. What troubles me is,are we walking in the right direction?
Right direction is UP, always UP... UPleft, UPright, but UP!.... ;-))
OK ;) I trust you. I'm sure you know the way *smile*
I know only right direction... The way goes by these rules...

A New Year Blessing

That the single, most significant dimension of life is your relationship
with the Source of Goodness who never ceases to sing love songs to your Soul

That you find meaning, purpose, and vitality in what you do daily

That you treasure your loved ones and let them know how dear they are to you

That you make choices and decisions that reflect your truest self

That you look in the mirror at least once a day and smile in happy amazement

That you remember relationships are what count above all else -
more than work or money or all the material things we spend so much time tending

That you live in an uncluttered manner, enjoying the freedom to be content

That you keep your sense of humor when things don’t go the way you want

That you find adventure in each new day and marvel at the wonders of creation,
which constantly present themselves to you

That you never give up on yourself when others turn away or do not understand

That you are attentive to the health of your body, mind and spirit

That you take risks and accept the growth-full challenges that come to you

That you draw on your inner strength and resiliency when you are in need

That you carry peace within yourself, allowing it to slip into the hearts of others,
so our planet becomes a place where violence, division, and war are no more...

© Joyce Rupp January 2004

 

 

OK . Now I have the rules ;)  just have to start living by them

 

Sorry Now I cannot add a pic. Something is wrong ;(

 

 

Far away than longer, closer than next to, Your inner Child  sits patiently
 waiting for you *smile*

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