there's a vibe that comes up when the subject is broached. a vibes, like "don't talk about that!"
which is another level of the "tell dad and i'll KILL you" trip that I got at the age of eight.

after i got decent therapy in my thirties a lot of things changed for me.
especially my attitude towards bullies, and the sort of people who use insincere laughter to cover up their own insensitivity -- or the subtle ways in which they themselves have supported the institutionalized abuses of children, the disabled --

there are two groups of sick people, actually.
the ABUSERS who get away with it via some version of the aforementioned tactic are ALSO mentally and emotionally not healthy. They function in society.

I am sure that many people will wish to talk about this -- but will be afraid to.

please, talk about what you feel comfortable talking about.

owing to rational anarchism, i very rarely TRUST any dotorgs, though.
that one, however, is Good.

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Replies to This Discussion

Thank you Mikal for starting this discussion. I know there are many here who do talk about it but much more who still do not dare. So we have to create these kind of forums where they can share, maybe the greatest sorrow of them all all; CHILD ABUSE
Daring to talk about it is the first step to heal...
That is my soul purpose for talking about my abuse to heal and I think that can be a great first step
I'm dabbling in journal writing but getting started is very hard but I'm learning so much more about writing
thru my online courses at I think it's time for my story to be told.But this is also for those whom come after us.
I understand all you said/wrote here Calvin. I do believe our stories should be TOLD. yes for those who come after us,but also for other survivors,others being victimized now,or to help STOP before victimized,so can SEE and understand the signs of abusers,so parents can see and understand the signs of a child being abused. I exhibited just about every sign of an abused child,few teachers recognized them, my mum did NOT, or she didn't want to?
I have been told,asked since age 17 that I should write a book of my life, well I'm 48 in few months & not a writer,but if writing my story could help anyone else I think is worth trying, I do hope you Calvin get your story told.
I decided some years ago to write mine,I've yet to do so..because not a writer and no idea where to start?
child abuse reminds me of organized crime -- the weak being bullied by the strong, who tell themselves that they've got to.

often the unconcious "hope" is that the kid will just shut up abaout it.

it is at the root of all our global culture's ills.

we approach this problem with a goal of making it less painful, providig safe space for the injured to recover -- we make a better world....

i hope anyone who finds the idea of creating global peace practical will check us out. we can continue ths talk and have others...good to see you all...
It doesn´t matter so much where we talk about it . Only we do.
We have to create a trustful environment to make that possible...and that takes time..and need many who dare to take the first step...and many have . I so do admire their courage...
hey jussara!

in the united states we have a informal anarchist group called the ARA

A - R - A

stands for ANTI RACIST ACTION. against racism, sexism and homophobia since...a while ago.

homophobia is the worst because...
people don't discuss sexuality honestly

and some of the worst sorts of atrocities against humans are performed against homosexuals.

this is an human evolutionary hurdle..

i wouldn't give the death penalty to most of that sort of predator. why?

because others just get SNEAKIER. no one gets better then...

one of the worst things in America is the PRISON SYSTEM

where there is NO REHABILITATION.

it's just another manifestation of slavery.

i would definitely do all i could to STOP molestors and traffickers from being able to pimp and abuse the very young -- "only violate the free will of those who violate the freewill of others" is how i live my life.

we almost ALL get the death penalty.

i think cognitive behavioral therapy is an option.
yes, this we have written much here about,shared parts of personal stories,unfortunately all lost when a member deleted account,all trace including discussions are lost. I am exhausted,off for the night..will return soon.
Am glad see you here and writing mikal, after sending you the link :-) Will talk about as am able, I have written bits in gunilla's other groups too.
G'night friends
We do not seek vengeance as that takes us down to their deprived level. What we seek is to become victorious over the power that holds us prisoner. Being a survivor is about freeing ourselves from the bondage that the perpetrator placed us under...learning to become a successful person in spite of the dreadful things we were put through; winning through to show they did not win, using our scared souls as the learning board. I will not let him that did this win...ever. I was the innocent one who had my childhood robbed. I will not let me adulthood be robbed also...I will survive as the song goes...i learned how be be strong and get along. I learned to smile and get a smile back. i learned how to love others...and all the time his power slipped away from him till he was nothing anymore...nothing and no one not ever worth punishing...but he had to locked away to stop him damaging others...and now he is out everywhere he goes the folks there get to learn just what he did...he will never be free...he has become the hunted to stop him ever harming another soul...gladly this is no longer me role...I have moved on into a live of love, a life of peace and a life of service to others.
YES David! This you have written here is also me, how I rose above the "victimized" child to Survivor,to thriving with a loving caring heart for others..however neither of my 2 abusers were ever punished. My biological Father was not ever stopped and has hurt & destroyed so many innocents lives. He actually re married and had yet another baby by new wife few years ago! I have had nothing do with him many many years, was told about this by my grown son few years ago. My step-monster was never punished either. I have no idea what ever happened to him as my mum divorced him after I moved out at 13yrs old,soon after His daughter went to my mum and told her what he was doing ( I told & showed her on dolly at 4yrs old!!!) She tossed him out then and divorced him.
I do not feel vengeance so much as wanting for them to be "locked away" years ago prevent harm ,damage to anyone else,but no matter how many "adults" knew,was told,suspected or...? NO ONE ever did anything!!!
I do still have days,moments that are painful to remember. Pain of loss of a real childhood.
I create my own, I've re -created a 2nd childhood & always care for my inner wounded and playful wee girlie inside :-)) I love to play and laugh with my friends, is very healing and freeing.. other times though is sad and scared to I take care ,love and hug, whatever need do to help threw..
My mum never has really understood me, work for years to talk to her,to understand. I learned that She is not capable of being the Mum I need her be,so I learn accept her for who she is..sometimes hard & hurts, but I accept the woman she is and was,even if my wee girlie can never understand-why?
I wrote a discussion/blog about this..on The Child Within & Dandelion Children,of gunilla's
I too have moved on into a life of love ,peace and service to others..this does not mean that sometimes I have "triggers" to dark place, I do not stay there..not for long. Is part of me, those invisible wounds,bruises others can not see. I recognize is there,may never truly heal..I never stop trying to..Here where am safe I do this. I share,support others, as they too support me. Healing is a process some of us do better at it than others do..
WE must be understanding & supportive of each other. Who else can understand what we go threw than other survivors?
They carry forward lifelong sorrow...
Yes, is lifelong sorrow, but is also much love,joy,blessings and laughter too. I do not let the "sorrow" rule my life.
Is there with me,a part of me that I accept. I do not dwell upon it or live in it..but embrace the sorrow,grief,sadness as just a part of what created the whole of -Me..


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