"A human being is part of the whole called by us the Universe. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest - a kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures, and the whole of nature in its beauty."

Albert Einstein

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HUMOROUS Guidelines for Enlightenment by Swami Beyondananda:

1. Be a Fundamentalist - make sure the Fun always comes before the mental. Realize that life is a situation comedy that will never be cancelled. A laugh track has been provided and the reason why we are put in the material world is to get more material. Have a good laughsitive twice a day and that will ensure regularhilarity.

2. Remember that each of us has been given a special gift, LIFE, just for entering - so, you are already a winner!

3. The most powerful tool on the planet today is Tell-A-Vision. That is where I tell a vision to you and you tell a vision to me. That way, if we don't like the programming we're getting, we can simply change the channel.

4. Life is like photography. You use the negative to develop.

5. It is true. As we go through life thinking heavy thoughts, thought particles tend to get caught between the ears, causing a condition called truth decay. So, be sure to use mental floss twice a day. And, when you're tempted to practice tantrum yoga, remember what we teach in Swami's Absurdananda Training class: *Don't get even, get odd.*

6. If we want world peace, we must let go of our attachments and truly live like nomads. That's where I no mad at you, you no mad at me. That way, there'll surely be nomadness on the planet. And, peace begins with each of us. A little peace here, a little peace there, pretty soon, all the peaces will fit together to make one big peace everywhere.

7. I know great earth changes have been predicted for the future, so if you're looking to avoid earthquakes, my advice is simple. When you find a fault, just don't dwell on it.

8. There's no need to change the world. All we have to do is toilet train the world and we'll never have to change it again.

9. If you're looking to find the key to the Universe, I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is: there is no key to the Universe. The good news is: it has been left unlocked.

10. Finally, everything I have told you is channelled. That way, if you don't like it, it's not my fault. And remember, enlightenment is not a bureaucracy. So, we don't have to go through channels.
Thanks so much for sharing this! Everyone should read this. What a fantastic guide to life! ;-)
We free ourselves from this prison with practices like mantra to break down the bars. Mantras soften and expand the heart space so that our compassion can flow naturally out to all beings, just as the sun shines on all. So remember to shine. To shed your light - to be (enlightened)
Om Mani Padme Hum
Vedas teach that man should adore and worship God in gratitude for His benedictions.The Bible teaches that he should pray for peace and practise charity.The Quran would have man show mercy to the suffering and to surrender his will to the All-High.The Buddhist texts teach lesson of detachment and sense control.The Zendavesta exhorts man to get rid of evil propensities and shine in his own innate Glory.
Bhagavan Satya Saibaba
When all the religions talk of peace, love and co-existence why is there violence in the name of religion, sect and groups?.Let us pray God that this ends and the world has peace.

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