A Tribute to a Fierce Loving Mother


I don’t usually pay much attention to Mother’s Day. It isn’t just the commercialism. All holidays are commercialized. If the truth be told, I’ve never really valued motherhood all that much. I come from the generation of women that fought for women to be recognized for qualities beyond being mothers and wives. I grew up wanting to be the opposite of my mother who I saw as subordinate to a man who was unworthy of her. In the fierce battle to claim women’s ability to do whatever men could do, many of us denigrated the importance of what mothers contribute to the world.

But this Mother’s Day , I’ve changed my mind. This Mother’s Day, there is a mother in my life who I want to honour. A mother who has shown me what true love really is. A model of a fierce loving mother who has inspired me and made me realize the value of mothering to our lives and to the world.
My niece Terra spent her 20’s focused on career and friendship and then met a lovely man and had a baby last year. Their baby, Rosie, is a wondrous person who takes such joy in every moment of life, that it is impossible to be around her without having your spirits lifted and your heart opened.

From the day Rosie was born, Terra has been relentlessly positive about Rosie, who she is and her chances in life. It’s not that she ignores problems but rather that she focuses on the amazing, smart, funny, engaging being that has come into our lives, encouraging her to be the best she can be and supporting and comforting her through any difficulties. She is the leader of our entire family in this regard. We are very close but many of us not so prone to focus on the positive as Terra. We are all learning from her. As a result, I don’t think I’ve ever seen my family so happy.

Terra's parents were wonderful loving parents too and we have been lucky enough to have two and now three generations of extended families. As I don't have children, I have been fortunate to be a close part of my nieces and nephew's lives, as my mothers' sisters were an important part of mine. And Terra continues that tradition.

No doubt, the support of our family helps a lot too but it is Terra, the mother, who has shown us how to be the most loving family to Rosie that we can be. And Rosie takes in all that love and gives it back tenfold. So on this Mother’s Day, I pay tribute to Terra and to all mothers who love, support, protect and stand up for their children and to all fathers who can be mothers too.

Last week I attended a wonderful tribute to Carol Shields, one of my favorite writers who as well as penning the most powerful feminist novel I have ever read Unless raised five children. An extraordinary gathering of Canadian writers including Gail Anderson-Dargatz, Joan Barfoot, Sandra Birdsell, Lorna Crozier, Andrew Davidson and Jane Urquhart all paid tribute not only to her brilliance as a writer, her generosity as a mentor but her remarkable ability to give value to the ordinary lives of women in her work, no doubt because of her own dedication to mothering.

I notice this year that some groups are focussing on breaking with the Hallmark card version of Mother’s Day and making Mother’s Day what it was meant to be
“Arise then...women of this day! Arise, all women who have hearts! From the bosom of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with Our own. It says: Disarm! Disarm!"— Julia Ward Howe, Mother's Day Proclamation, 1870”
The marvelous anti-war group Code Pink organized a day long vigil in front of White House on Friday called Mother’s Day for Peace. InterPares has produced a rather old fashioned video reclaiming the original meaning of Mothers Day.

But I really think that Mother's Day should also honor the fierce love of a mother recognizing that if we all had that kind of love in our infancy and childhood, our world would be not just a less violent place but a fairer more peaceful and loving place as well.

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