When you do not chose not to live as it did from the beginning ... so it made it to feel love, once I had changed my life so I got another problem .... I was scared of love ... I had not the ability to take me to love because I was terrified!
Everything had to love to do just did evil ... in all the years have been told that love is reached beautifully ... been wonderful ... reached full fantastic to experience, but I could not deal with all this I felt only pain .... I think something that is so great o lovely 're not hurt!
I took me away when it was too .... when someone came to me for close to that I was so scared, I wanted to not feel the pain ... the disease in the whole thing was to love scared me MKT MKT more than violence did, Oki violence gives MKT pain but to break an arm or a leg know moving o why it pains "that I could live with."
But I did not get to live with the mental pain that love was and I could for my SOUL not understand why it would make J *** A pain in me ... so I fled from the ... fled from those who wanted to be close to my heart ... who loved me ... fled reached which was unknown to me, love (dad said he loved us) .. the love I knew was only physical pain, "not mental"!
I have gone with a counselor to learn to kärlekrn is beautiful but painful in a way that no one can help or remove ... I was so blunt in many years that the loss reached barely exist ... I know that I have known love ... but there was no love for a man that was to the friend o faithful companion Alsatian (Cindy) I had, but that I experienced as being different when I do not associate it with love, but deep deep friendship between 2 different souls!
I have heard that I have only loved once o it was your "FUCKING DOG " I went through the roof .... she was not a fucking dog ... she was my true friend and I will never forget them words of this man who said that "I could have done anything ..... but I went from there" ... but go into therapy to get to learn what love is .... I am probably not alone there!
Now I know the meaning of what love is and why it hurts ... but I find it incredible that you can love someone so that it hurts inside .... that it lacks some "the pain is enormous" but I do not give up love cause is so great in fact, its the backside can be as cruel as the violence has been through over the years .... I think of "JEALOUSY" ...... if it were not for love, so would not occur jealousy that is so sick that some will get a incredible EAGERNESS because they live in love .... or to love distortion so as to create reached sick .... so I can not help it but I see that it is on the way back to something so cruel and nasty "are indeed those who kill for love" when the question is left (is love so great o wonderful ... so wonderful ) there are much I do not understand in terms of love "sorry, I say ... but I hope that is genuine love and not the false that I have seen so much of."
Hope I do not love rear so that I may see the great wonderful fantastic ...... I ......... can not help but hope you are well and do not experience this doubt that love is reached GOOD!
Mvh Kenneth Alfsson