Choose your battles

When we attain a certain level of maturity, it becomes easier to see the dynamics of human clashes or battles which we perhaps never noticed before. As a result, we learn to choose our battles rather than get involved in every conflict presented. In choosing our battles, we will also have a much quicker recovery time of letting things go and we are better able to respond or retract when necessary. Being immature, we usually only respond.

When there is some sort of confusion or problem, recognition of how to cooperatively proceed may require letting go of our bruised ego to achieve a safe, calm outcome. Knowing how and when to choose the battles we decide to fight can make life much less stressful and more controlled.

Indications that the situation is getting out of control, like raised voices and defensive body language, may signal the time to withdraw and exit. It may be that the scenario can or should continue without our further involvement. But if we insist on trying to explain why we are interested or try to protect our position in the matter, things could escalate into an argument, hurt feelings and a rift.

This is an example of several considerations we can go over in our mind in choosing our battles:

1. Have I overstepped my authority by saying something?
2. Am I aware or unaware of the reason(s) for the decision(s) which have been made?
3. Do I need to ask more questions before getting involved?
4. Should I just mind my own business and say nothing?
5. Although the situation used to be my concern, I am no longer involved; so the problem is not mine to try to solve.
6. I am doing or did the right thing by backing down and out.

When we learn to choose our battles and act accordingly, we can maintain the joy, peace and harmony in our lives and in the lives of others.