i was awakened from sleep lfriday night by a franitc banging on the door. all the kids were home but my heart immediately lept to my throat. it was dark of course and i couldn't see who it was but the person identified himself as a friend of my twins.

i was not prepared for the words that came tumbling out of this kid's mouth. he was breathing hard, and i saw what looked like raw fear in his face as he said "i was shot at." good god.

he wasn't kidding. he had been at a spot not far away, a hangout for kids around here, and the story i got is that a man walked towards them and opened fire. the kid had his hand cupped over his right ear. it was ringing. two bullets had flown right by it.

he said he took off running when the first shot rang out and that he was worried about his two other friends. he got on the landline and started trying to reach those friends.

i had a million different first thoughts. i wondered where his parents were. i wondered why he was out so late. i wondered if he was telling me the whole, true story. i wondered if he'd put us in danger by coming here. i wondered if somehow the people who have been wreaking havoc in our lives for over a year now via stalking us with prepaid cell phones were somehow involved in it...thinking one of my sons would be out there with those others. i wondered how this could happen here, right smack in my backyard, right smack in the middle of an average neighborhood where people drive minivans and plant colorful flowers and walk the dog down the block. i wondered if i should call the police. i could hear distant sirens. my daughter had fallen asleep beside me earlier and had been awakened by the banging.

the kid was petrified, no doubt. i let my son sit downstairs to talk with him alone while i calmed my daughter, though i make no bones about the fact that i was eavesdropping the entire time. my son asked him why he came here as opposed to going to a closer house, or one where he spent more time. this kid hasn't been here but two or three times prior to friday night. his answer brought tears to my eyes. he told my son he knew he would be safe and find help here.

not a kid has passed the threshold of my home without hearing me say that if they get into trouble, if they need help, call and i'll come, or come and i'll help. i had no idea any of them ever paid any attention.

among the many things about this that bother me, is the fact that for the very first time in my life i actually had the conscious thought that maybe i should stop telling kids they can call on me for help if they need it. it made me feel horrible but the last year has taught me some pretty painful lessons.

first, if you tell a kid to call on you if they're in trouble and need help, you are giving a lot of power to kids, including ones who will think nothing at all of lying through the teeth. they'll lie about non-existent emergencies, or they'll tell only you the truth, and then when you keep your word to help them they turn tail, recant, and assist others in crucifying you for it. if i hadn't experienced it personally, i'd never have believed how ruthless, damaging, lacking conscience kids can be in that regard.

the other thing is.....this world gets more and more dangerous seemingly by the minute. telling a kid they need never fear they have no one to go to for help is telling a kid that if they should ever find themselves trying to outrun gunfire, they can head in your direction and you will answer, day or night, and do the best you can to protect them......even when your heart is beating a million times a minute and you're praying to god they didn't just lead an armed heathen straight to your front door.

it's a scary world. it's scary for kids and it's scary because of them.

my brother lit into me for letting the kid in the door. he told me i was being naieve and setting myself up for trouble. in spite of my own first thoughts, ones than ran somwhat parallel to those words he verbalized, i just can't see myself ignoring someone in such desperate straits.

if we're ever to live in a world marked more by peace and kindness and less by conflict and hatred, it seems to me the first thing we need to do is open the doors of our minds to the possibility that it can actually happen. sometimes, that means opening the door to your house and showing a teenager that there are better things to be doing late at night than wandering the streets, waiting for trouble.

still, i'm fairly regularly amazed at how common it is for the one who tries to do the right thing to end up being the one who pays the highest price.......but that's another story....

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Comment by Mike Van Kool on May 6, 2009 at 3:15pm
Courtney,
You did the right thing. 1st - you ewer familiar with the kid. 2nd - he needed help.
Don't listen to the cowards!!! Kids need to know, that is someting bad hppens to them, they have a mature person to rely on him/her, especially being the parent.

I salute you and urge you not to be discouraged by the 'yellow chicken'

Mike Van Kool, Israel

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