Once, in what seems like a long time ago, I lived in what seemed like permanent fear. There was a war raging, the government was trying to putme in jail for refusing to go, I had to work under assumed names; all the whil being just 19 and trying to go to college in a place that was both new and larger than anywhere I had ever been, and knowing no one.
The streets were erupting; the old was fiercely fighting against the new, and suspicion was the order of the day-----of people, of authority, of each other for so many.
It was an exhausting, demoralizing, unatural way to live---------------
Then one day, for reasons I cannot recall I just gave it up and let go. And over time a remarkable thing happened.
I came to realizethat I could not change the world and that I would accept whatever I had to go through to live according to what I believe. I was at peace with the consequences (though opposed to them.) And them something else happened--------------------
I found it easier to let go of other fears, smaller fears and finally, fear itself.
This freed me like nothing else ever has (or will) and I began to trust more--------------and accept more about others which led meto be able to live from that place most natural to me, the heart.
As the world has gotten more violent and divided and political and fearful, each of us fearful of the other---and as the world has gotten more cynical I find that, in my refusal to be cynical (and I do work at it constantly) it is easier to be more open and receptive to others-easier to try to see one's heart and natural humanity in each person I meet.
It is easier to love and to be more honest; and to give from the heart and spirit-----------easier to work at not dishonoring those I love and care about, and myself-whether they are with me or not.
I have learned that more disappointments will occurr as it means less caution will be taken but my life is fuller and more fulfilled------------and I am stronger for learning to better deal with disappointment.
Letting it go is the most freeing thing I have ever done.
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