The first time he hits you isn’t the first time he’s abused you.
First he called you names, controlled and verbally misused you.

You think it’s cute that he wants you all to himself,
That is until, you somehow totally lose yourself.

Look in the mirror, unrecognized reflection,
For true love, you’ve mistaken deception!

He does not love you; he’s just a control freak!
To make himself feel stronger, he makes you feel weak!

So weak, that you’ve lost all your self esteem!
Where is the love now?…merely a pipe dream.

But he’s just a sociopath, who just loves to charm.
Wait until he kisses, you while twisting your arm!

Wait until he pushes you into the tub on your back!
Wait until you land so hard you feel your tailbone crack!

While you’re on the phone talking to 9-1-1!
He boldly puts to your temple a loaded 45 gun!

Trust me, it’s not cool begging and pleading for your life!
To the man who asked you to “lovingly” be his wife.

The honeymoon is the “I’m sorry’s and “See what you made me do’s”
Only until the next time he blackens and blues you!

Please, for your children, you have to plan to get away!
The cycle will just continue if you decide to stay.

The kids will grow up and think that love hurts-
Falling in love with someone who treats them like dirt.

You must plan, save some money, pack a bag!
Hindsight is 20/20, you saw the red flags!

His subtle manipulation “Baby stay home with me tonight!”
With full blinders on you sweetly say “Alright.”

Don’t just wait around for him to suddenly change.
Before then, you’ll find out he’s completely deranged!
Please make an escape plan without him knowing,
Or six feet under is the only place you’ll be going!

By Antoinette Denise Johnson
Excerpt from the book

Copyright © 2009
All Rights Reserved

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Comment by Antoinette Denise Johnson on March 7, 2009 at 10:17am
Thank you for reading my poem Humanatomas! This particular abuser's mind was damaged by drugs!
Comment by Kristi on February 23, 2009 at 1:46am
The great thing about words is you will always have the last one if you choose. Write and write and write the wrongs. I read these stories and ache for all involved. The victims and the abusers. These are All a face of God. Both sides. This is difficult. But I consider the origin of these fragmented brains. These humans are doing these things because their brains are damaged by the mind damaging environment laid before us. It is in our water, food, vaccines, computer and tv screens. It is in our cell phone and ATM screens.

The abusers are the fragile minded. Their brains will explode like a scrambled egg during the Shift of the coming Aeon. There will be no place for their vile thoughts to hide. They will not be able to escape God's Voice in their heads.
Comment by Antoinette Denise Johnson on February 17, 2009 at 6:36am
Thank you Enitan, for the compliments, and words of support.
Thank you David for sharing your thoughts and creative abilities.
Thank you Iris, for the beautiful graphic!
This poem is so near and close to my heart, I came very close to death this day, and I am so grateful to be here!
Peace & Blessings!~Antoinette Denise Johnson
Comment by David Gould on February 12, 2009 at 1:48am
Antoinette, (copy of my comment on your discussion thread in Peace Poetry)
You have reminded us so vividly of that other peace that must exist. All too often we think only in terms of war, armed conflict and terrorism as the targets of our Peace Endeavours. Yet here you have painted so clearly the lurking threat so many face on a domestic front...
with the very people that should show them love,
that promised to show them love
that committed themselves to love you.

And here there is also the need for peace from the threat or actual acts of violence.
In your own home you should feel safe...
but how many do not?

And as you say it is not always easy to flee such threats or acts...
as a child dependant upon a parent or relative
as a victim of random acts of violation
as an adult with a partner
it is hard to run away when you have nowhere to go.

As your title suggests you survived victorious
you got away
with fear
and a host of other new alien feelings.

I know your book will be a painful but rewarding read.

We are all so proud of you,
so thankful you survived
and thankful for sharing with us
a little of the insights it has given you.
Your courage inspires us. Thank you.
Comment by Enitan on February 11, 2009 at 7:02pm
Dear Antoinette,

Explosive! Your poem speaks clearly and forcefully to all those in abusive relationships. Love is NOT destructive. I'll be sure to visit your web site.

Thanks for the gift of friendship and an opportunity to read such a powerful piece.


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