Part I: P.T.S.D. ExpandeD
11/18/09

“Something Seemingly Sinister, Something Truly Sinister”

something seemingly sinister sounds an alarm
though you may be afraid, it means you no harm
it drives you crazy to hear the voices it speaks in
or to think of how easily its lights can peek in
tweaking your world to pull you out of misery
making you lose your mind as you revisit history
horrible happenings, special occasions; memories flood back-
forced out; left alone for good- as new doors begin to crack.
closing off your past- dreaming your future as you go
feeling yourself fully as you begin to get lost in the flow
then something truly sinister sounds its alarm
it’s time to pack up and go- there’s no lucky charm
large or wide enough to keep you safe from an explosion
back and forth; here, then gone; and on... a perpetual erosion...



“Post Tension- Shots – Disability & Death”

i’m here to get help- i need to see a psychiatrist
someone to fix my meds- i’m afraid i’m losing it
not falling apart- just zoning out, losing time, on occasion
i just need to ask a few questions- nothing unreasonable
a tweak on the pills, maybe; a doctor-recommended vacation
it’s just that functioning like this i’m not sure i am viable
for service, i mean- my unit is getting ready to deploy
#4– or #5- i’ve been trying to figure it out- see why i worry?
i can’t even seem to remember how many times i’ve been
i need to get this fixed yesterday- only a month or so to go
good, you say i need to... go see him? his office is where again?
thanks again for the time- when i have time to talk i’ll let you know
the wrong day, i guess, or maybe the wrong psychiatrist
if he doesn’t have time to deal with me, how can i deal with this??



“Guessing Game?”

are we making progress or are you still lying?
all i know is i keep seeing the headlines
warriors, kids; civilians, children- SOLDIERS- dying
some of ours here, even; on their feet- from suicide
what are they seeing that makes them not want to be
what are we doing there (or here) to them- i plea
come up with a strategy or order them back home
this time back home let’s be sure that we keep them
together, with family- taken care of- child heroes
adults, too, losing it all from seeing the zeroes
thousands of casualties- is that a high enough cost?
not to mention tens of thousands of Afghani civilians lost
so come up with a way to ‘win’ AND lower the amount
or get the he** out so we can finally stop the count.

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