The March Experience

The wind is like a knife,
In the middle of the early morning,
As I try to walk by the sea.
I have lots of pain,
From both the bruises,
And cracked ribs on my right side,
Af ter the accident on Friday night.

It is still very dark,
As the entire sky is covered by grey clouds,
But further in front,
I see a plane departing.
I hear the quiet waves,
Yet no sign of stars in the sky,
And no moon or the rising sun.
I had a very uncomfortable sleep;
Neither I could lay or sit down,
And I was breathless almost all night.
The pain I had was not only on my body,
But also in my mind and soul.

I want to swim,
But it is very cold;
Although it's the middle of March,
It is worse than December.
I take off my shoes and socks very slowly,
And my feet touch the sea;
Wow! The water is colder than ice.
I take off my trousers,
My ribs though,
They really hurt when I move.
Then I take off my pullover,
My t-shirt, my underwear,
And whatever else I have as clothes.
The only thing I want to keep on is my watch;
My Longines I've worn since 1991.
It seems to me that this watch,
Knows me more than anything else.
And she was so close to me all those years,
Like no one ever was!

Slowly, I go into the sea.
It quickly gets deep as I swam,
My skin turns to goose bumps,
And I shiver.
I feel the wind cutting me into slices,
Especially as I get wet.
My feet meet the sea kelp;
And many of them at the same time;
They are very soft, almost slippery.
My pain blends with the cold,
My senses lose their feeling of being senses.
I have Heidegger in my mind;
His essay on “"Being and Time"

Be'ing?
What does Be mean?
His essay, when I read it almost ten years ago,
Still have the same words;
Yet when I re-read it today,
The Be'ing has another meaning.
And the words, words, words…
Do they have another meaning?
Or am I another Be'ing?
Yet me, the same me in the mirror I face
Is it an illusion,
And am I not the same Be'ing?

When my bruises and the cracked rips,
Get together with the wind and the cold sea,
The pain doesn't give pain any more.
And I experience in this second that
The existance exists where there is no existance.
I can understand Be'ing,
When I meet non-being.
I know love, when I know hate.
I know sadness, when I know happiness
The comparisons give meaning to being,
Which is only possible by existence of time.
As Time enables existence only once,
And non-existent for a second time,
Then I have a possibility to compare,
The Be'ing.
If existence is possible with non-existence,
Then shall I first be non-existent to exist?
Like the pain becomes less painful,
So will I be Be,
Where there exists no Time and no Being?

I decide to get out of the sea and dress
Before daylight and other people show up.
My bruises and my cracked ribs hurt more,
My cold body suffers even more.
Yet the wind and the cold sea,
Refresh my mind and my thoughts.
My soul;
Well, she was very quiet during these minutes,
But I guess she will eventually decide about her Be'ing
Af ter reflecting the March Experience!”
Deniz Kite, after an accident in 2007, from The Dancing Souls