What Does It Take To Sober Up a Drunk? (#1/3)

“What Does it Take to Sober Up a Drunk?”

wandering, pondering, wondering why
what evil deed have i done said i
to drive from so near to so far away
you- i had you beside me yesterday
you said it was nothing that i had done
neither my despicable actions nor your dissatisfaction
not a thing you could fault me for- not one
no responsibility lies with you- not a fraction
you said sarcastically as i lay there gasping
for the same air you so effortlessly used
to fuel your momentum, your words, the clasping
the damage, the heartbreak, this final abuse
as you took that last picture and locked it away in your suitcase
i caught my breath and rose slowly to pace
i reached out for your hand but you pulled it away
i desperately searched for the words to say
that would keep you here maybe for another week
or at least a day... an hour... a moment?
i said a future without you seems nothing but bleak
you responded by saying i'm not trying to torment
then what, i said, do you call this?
if it is not torment, would you call it bliss?
you said you didn't know what you'd call it
maybe necessity? we both knew it was coming
i said you may have known it but i sure as hell didn't
get over it, move on, we're done!
your response, as always, struck with a bullet's precision
straight through the heart with no intent of revision
no chance of a recall and no desire to alter
and as it surged through me deep into my mind
i was angry with you- i stepped forward and faltered
you told me you wished for me eternal fire
i stepped back, i blinked and broke into tears
trying to remember how many beers
enough, i determined, a perfect amount
or more than enough? i again tried to count
over and over, again and again, counting from 1 to 10
1... 2... 4... 3... 6... 7... 8... 10... 9... 5? no
2... 3... 1... 8... 6... 7... 10... 4... 5... 9? then
you laughed but your laugh wasn't good-natured at all
you laughed 'til you cried and then cried into sobbing
i was crying with you but then i started to fall
is it just me or do i see the room bobbing?
i was asking you but i don't think you were listening
you were sobbing still and i saw you trembling
the last thing i remember of you was the glistening
of your cheeks red with despair, the courage i saw you assembling
as i heard the door slam i tried to open my eyes
i couldn't... they wouldn't... and then i began to realize
the reason you left- the truth flooded back into mind
you must've left because you didn't care
me, a casualty of love, so broken left behind
if you ever do that again i swear...
i'll tell you all about it
when... if... i wake up
sober



"Shattered Nightmare (Self-Realization)"

broken, shattered
the world's at an end
oh, maybe not-
we're just fighting again
but every time we fight,
it feels like it is-
i know that you're right,
but I still can't admit it.
i should just give up,
but instead you'll have to give in
or neither of us will sleep
'cause neither will bend
if I could agree with you
like you agree with me
if I could admit my mistakes
even when it wasn't me
then all of this would be easy
instead I can't- or won't-
and the end result
is that I just don't
if I could correct this fatal flaw
we could have worked all along
you don't deserve what I do to you
and I certainly don't deserve you
all I do is jerk you around
play with your mind
and break you down
i win all the fights-
even when I'm not right-
by making you feel like
you're my one and only
and in a way you are
because you are to me
everything I need you to be
if I could give to you
what you need from me
then all of this would be easy
instead it's a nightmare,
but don't get me wrong
you're what I've been looking for
all along.