What Does It Take To Sober Up a Drunk? (#3/3)

"Drug of Choice (A - Z)"

an allergic reaction, alternating
between, beneath, bourne by blood
carrying chemicals; coursing all directions
dominating, dimming- donning for me my mask
every eery shred- doubt- eeks in
feeding on, fomenting from these formulations
gravity grabs tighter; green, grounded
hooded, hopeless- horrified by my diagnosis
irritated; in fact, entirely ired- immune
jailed, jogging in place, jet-set to go
killing time, konking out- rounding out a balancing act
left lonesome at home- loathing and longing linger
more.. whatever it is.. more..
no.. i shouldn't, i feel sick... no..
only one more..? NO! not even one only.
pouring, patient... pure, purposeful.. pragmatically 'poor'
quickly quoting quaint but patented phrases accidentally
realistic, respectful- re-doubling; no copy(right?)
selfless, 'homeless'...? i feel soulless, sordid, sarcastic- helpless
truthful and tormented- tortured tirelessly knowing
unused and used up all at once- ingored but 'kept up'
vying... vanity.. voracious? no, simply veracious
witting, wounded- wound tight, the comedown is wicked
(3)xcruciating, (3)xpected- (3)xperienced [E]xplicably and immediately
youthful yearnings wasted by chemical
zoning- zeroing.. zeroed at go.


“What Does it Take to Sober Up a Drunk? (#3/3)”

You, outside, can never really ever tell at all
Only the drunk can decide how far they must fall
Unless, of course, the alcoholic is you
Caught up in yourself, drowning in booze
A lesson i learned for myself a long time ago
Not once, twice but three times saw that show
The first walked out on me from a distance
She wanted to help- my lies doused her resistance
Only driving her away- her exact words as to why,
By the way, were lost to the alcohol over time
Ever certain i am, though, that she wanted to help
Reaching for my hand to drag me back to health
Unfortunately she couldn’t reach- not through all the lies
Pouring one after another- long distance tears- the price
A high one- love lost to drinking and a drunk’s thinking
Decision number two came face to face- her without blinking
Ran me out of her house- sent me packing- after interrogation
Used, tired, questioned, questioning- a visitor’s detention
No more than three days in she told me to go home
Knowing i needed help- not able to deal with it on her own
Unless i shaped back up to the way she remembered
Not an unhappy alcoholic but a more relaxed drinker
Lost; she saw how helpless, homeless i was feeling
Everything crashing down- drunk, broke, unemployed- reeling
Systematic self-destruction, constant, the bottom looming
So close but so deep- still digging- the alcohol entombing
Yearning for understanding- looking all around me
Only to find no one there who could- not even she
Ultimately without me was how she decided to see it
Reality is a strange thing for an alcoholic to meet with
Every detail blurred, lines forgotten, blackouts- fall after fall
Ten thousand arguments- wins or losses? Not one i can recall
How do you expect me to? i’m lucky to even remember this
Every day, every kind- I drank myself blind on a daily basis
Drowning out love… Kendall’s, Pip’s.. mom’s, too. resentment…
Really.. she’s the one responsible for my most recent commitment.
Unless i want to be like her- a WORKAholic- she says ‘get out’
Noting how she dealt with this before, how my future is in doubt
Killed by my past dependencies, recovering, suffering unemployment
it’s what you get when you abuse a substance- absolute zero enjoyment