Differences are over-rated...

We are all born into different circumstances. Different histories, different cultures, language, tradition, social pressures, climates, geographies, environments and so on. It's a big garden and up until recently we have been kind of isolated from each other. With advances in transportation and communication we have become more accessable to each other. So we are discovering each other in some ways. I mean, just us average folks are beginning to develop relationships with folks all over the world. This is very cool. I think the advent of chat boards on the www opens up a world of possibilities, as this very forum demonstrates. But it also kind of brings the differences to new light. So there is a period of adjustment. But after the initial fear of the unknown, I think that it's important to accentuate the idea that it is natural that we have some differences. I mean, it's really impossible for people from different places to react in exactly the same ways as each other, or to have exactly the same beliefs. We are comfortable in dressing in the ways that we were exposed to for most of our lives. We eat different foods and talk in different ways and have diverse spiritual beliefs. So what? Well, here's one problem. This guy over here has been brought up to believe in A-ism and this lady over here believes in B-ism and another guy over there believes in C-ism. And so many of us in our diverse beliefs are passionate and have reasons that are completely reasonable, we think, for our passionate belief.

Differences, different points of view, are learned in the context of our life circumstances. That's not so surprising or amazing. So A came up with an idea based on experiential data and reason and intuitive thought. A is a mystical guy and recognizes something. He recognizes some sort of connection, some commonality. And he talks about it and presents it in a way that will be understood in the context of the times and the social environment. And it starts out to be well intentioned and has some truth to it. Meanwhile, B comes up with a similar recognition of connection and commonality and synthesizes his framework of belief someplace else, based on his circumstances. Along comes C and does the same. Then people start developing dogma and doctrine in order to identify with each other, and to use the seminal mystic's message to provide hope. But, A-ism is based on A's story, B-ism is based on B's story and C-ism is based on C's story. They can't be the same. So who's right? Well in the context of their respective perspectives, they are all right. So if A is so wonderful, why can't B's followers convert to A-ism? Well, ya, if they want to. But an awful lot of B-ists are very comfortable with their B-ism. It's part of their identity, part of who they are, it does give them hope. So if an A-ist trys to show them a "better" way, they are naturally confused or fearful or resentful. Who is this A-ist, to try to change me after having believed in B-ism all of my life? My father and my grandfather were good men and they believed in B-ism. So, long story short, we end up with such passion that we do violence to substantiate our point of view. Hmm.

So how can this mess possibly be resolved? It's time to stop dwelling on the differences and take note that there are commonalities as well. Remember the differences are learned. The commonalities --- are inherint. The first time I came to the iPeace site, i heard Moby singing about how we're all made of stars. That is so very true. We are all made of elements that ultimately did come from stars. We can make some other generalizations. Parents love their children and children love their parents. We eat, sleep, breath. Another commonality, that I consider, is that the messages of the seminal mystics from which the world's religions sprang are compatable. It's only when folks stray from the original messsages that problems arise. Buddhism is all about ending suffering. Neem Karoli Baba, the Karmic Yogi guru of Krishna Das and Baba Ram Das said we should feed people. The golden rule is universal. Indiginous people, Jainist, Bahai, etc. all consider that we should take care of each other. I am no mainstream christian, but I find hope in the Sermon on the Mount. The Koran says that we should perform acts of charity. I know that I am preaching to the choir here, but my hope is that maybe this might provide another perspective on things.

I think faith is a wonderful thing. It can be enpowering in good ways. I also think that if you truly believe in any ism, you have no reason to feel threatened by any other ism. No need to dishonor anyone or their beliefs, either. I have many friends that have enriched my life and we don't believe all of the same things. Why would I alienate my friends, people who enrich my life, by dishonoring what they believe to be true in the deepest places of who they are? That would kind of tend to hurt them. And then, as faith is intuitive at the end of the day, and it is not possible for all of us to believe exactly the same dogma or doctrine, so who am I, in fact, to question anyone's beliefs? What would that serve? Stalemate! Believe what you believe with all of your heart, and leave enough wiggle room for your friends or potential friends to believe what they believe with all of their hearts. Tolerance. Go back to the message.

So, what is my faith? I'm an alphabetic. Your welcome to join if you like. But whatever you believe, the system of belief that you adhere to does most likely accomodate tolerance and charity.

So how can we all be right and be different? Perspective. Take 3 people sitting in the same room, they all see the clock from slightly different angles and consider the time as being off by a minute from each other. So what? They still have the reference to time. They are still existing at the same moment as each other in spite of the insignificant difference in perspective. Commonality. And they could waste their precious time in arguing over that minute, if they choose to. Or they could look for other things to spend their time on. I don't know if we can coexist if we only focus on differences. I do know that we can waste our time in doing so. I think it's useful to look for the commonalities and to place them above the differences. Commonalities are often overlooked. Differences are often over-rated. Shalom, Salam, Namaste, God bless, Peace.

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Permalink Reply by Kim Dragotta on October 9, 2008 at 7:34pm

"I have to say I like what you have written. But what about the lost ones - those who have no -ism, those living for the next fix, those who have lost all faith? How do we accomodate their difference. How do we tolerate them, show compassion towards them without trying to convert them or simply transferring to them our own problems? The commonality you talk about is very real - I would say the only reality - but the trouble is we can't all see it. What can we do about this state of affairs? Any advice is most welcome."

Michael, first off let me start by saying that I don't have all of the answers, or do I? In one respect it's possible that we all contain all of the answers. In any case, every situation, in terms of the lost ones, may be a little different and so may take a little creative troubleshooting based on the specific circumsatances. And, perhaps, there are some that will remain lost, no matter what. I am a pharmacist and literally see meth junkies every day. All I can do to help them, for example, is to deny selling them the substances and paraphenalia they need to manufacture the meth. This is an extreme case. It seems that it's very difficult to make a positive difference in their lives. In terms approaching others, When asked how to serve God, Neem Karoli Baba simply said, "To serve God, feed people." I think he was really on to something there. This might fit in a lot of circumstances. It might create a basis for discourse. Validate people in some way first. Don't point out their percieved imperfections. Feeding people, on some level validates those who are in need. Preaching throws up walls. Just show you care, without judgement.

We obviously can't all be world saviors. We can all be humble gurus. We can bring positive affect into our respective world's, the part that is within our reach. So if the idea of commonality resonates for you, ultimately there is something you can do. Talk about it. We don't actually have to have an ism to be an alphabetic, after all, do we? In my humble opinion, it is consistant with any faith to honor another's beliefs. Just keep talking. Talk to your friends at church. Talk to a stranger at the grocery store. Talk to your friends and family. Talk with me. Talk with friends on this and other chat boards. A little warning: It's like a numbers game. You will find some resistance, and then again you might find some folks that agree. Don't be drawn into arguement about it. Throw the taco out there and see who bites. When the discourse becomes heated, back away and come back another day, maybe from another angle, but be consistant in the bottom line, ie., We should take care of each other.

Many people who are "lost" came to their state over long periods of time and due to some deep emotional compromise. Something or someone let them down. Others are products of their enviroments. There but for the grace of God...go I. Emapathy! Then again, there are those that only seem lost and are actually on their path, just where they are at the moment. Be as consistantly positive and hopeful as you can be. Talk about it, but don't expect immediate changes from everything you do. Just stay positive. There will be some gratifying results here and there. Throw the pebble and watch the ripples. Have a terrific day! God bless.