Honour Your Feelings
Ascended Master, Serapis Bey’s Weekly Message ~ January 31 – February 07, 2014
Received by Julie Miller
January 31, 2014
Setting and sustaining boundaries are truly essential for your ability to have healthy relationships and a healthy life overall and the setting of boundaries dear ones is actually a skill. This skill we have witnessed often doesn’t become learned and many dear souls as adults struggle trying to establish boundaries through actual experiences found within difficult situations or by observing others and how they manoeuvre through life, saying no to this and yes to that – yet the truth is maintaining your boundaries is an ongoing challenge once they are constructed.
When you have healthy and strong boundaries in place you are demonstrating that you have a good inner knowing and understanding of what your limits are when interacting with others. But if you are unsure about where you stand on certain topics, then setting boundaries will be difficult. We encourage you to take some time to identify what your emotional, mental, spiritual and physical limits are, and then consider how much you can tolerate and allow that would create discomfort and dis-ease. The moment the uncomfortable feeling arises, then that is your indicator to where your limit is.
Become more aware of your feelings, don’t allow them to consume and control you. Let them be the cues you need that help you to identify a boundary or limit has been reached. When you begin feeling resentment or uneasiness then listen to these feelings dear ones, don’t carry on where you are at. You do have choices and we urge you to become more aware that you don’t have to engage in areas that cause discomfort. When you find yourself feeling resentment towards the other dear soul, tune-in to where this feeling is coming from. Does it arrive when you feel you are not being appreciated, or possibly when someone is trying to take advantage of you? When you become agitated enough to feel the negative pull of anger then you know you have reached your limit within the subject of discussion. Listen to your feelings, pay attention! No one gets to cross your boundaries unless you have given them this freedom. Set limits, learn the power of no and make use of it. Don’t let guilty feelings enter your thought stream and take over your boundaries. If another dear soul has made you feel uncomfortable, then this dear ones is your cue to pay attention because they most likely have crossed over a boundary.
It can be difficult maintaining healthy boundaries with some people where with others it is easy. Sometimes you must be direct to where your boundaries rest. In most interactions direct and clear-cut dialogue is unneeded. But sometimes you do cross paths with some dear souls that have different communications styles and are aggressive with their ways and approach. It is when you notice a big difference in personality and how another dear soul communicates that you need to express your boundaries in a clear and concise manner and stick to your boundaries that you have verbally put into place. Understand when opinions and feelings are challenged by others, this can be viewed as being disrespectful and create tension. Therefore being direct about where you stand on certain topics can help maintain healthy interactions and communication experiences. We urge you to use tact with your directness. Find ways to introduce your boundaries if the need arises without coming off, as being defensive, be assertive without being aggressive.
Give yourself the freedom to feel. Don’t allow yourself to be pushed into an uncomfortable corner where you will say yes when inside you are screaming no. Don’t fear what the other dear soul will think if you maintain your boundaries and disagree with something in the interaction. Every interaction dear ones is a learning experience – a little giving and taking goes on, preferably on an equal scale but we know this does not always occur. Each of you deserves to have healthy boundaries in place and each situation will require different boundaries but you may discover that some will overlap with similarities once you become used to maintaining your boundaries and sticking to them. Remember dear ones; boundaries are not just signs that you have established a healthy relationship, but that you also have respect for yourself. Preserve your boundaries, simply because you deserve them.
As mentioned previously boundaries are mainly about being aware of your feelings and noticing when you become uncomfortable during any interaction or discussion with another dear soul. Honour your feelings and be observant when your boundaries begin to slip. Recognize what has changed and why. Question yourself to determine what provoked your upset or why you feel resentment, then consider in a healthful way how to bring control back into the moment and situation.
If you look back to when you were a child, you would have learned at an early age about boundaries. There would have boundaries set between siblings, friends, parents, other family members, and so forth. If boundaries were not established at a young age, then your own precious energy would have been drained from both your emotional and physical body. So many dear souls have permitted themselves that it is okay to ignore their own needs for the sake of others, yet how can one truly take care of another when they are not taking care of themselves? Take a look at your relationships over the past, not just the romantic ones but also that platonic ones and discover how many of them were truly reciprocal. Are you part of a relationship now that honours your boundaries, is there a healthy give and take, and is it reciprocal? These are important factors to think upon, as they have become a part of your life and are a contributing factor to the health of your journey.
How many of you make caring for yourself essential? Self-care and self-love is vital to the health of your journey and to the health of any relationship. Give yourself permission to love yourself and to care for yourself first. When you do this dear ones you are motivating your own boundaries to become even sturdier because you come to realize the importance of your feelings and you are going to honour them because deep down you want to be just as happy as the dear souls you have fretted so long over to make them happy. When you put yourself first you are not being selfish dear ones, you are giving yourself peace of mind and re-energizing your total self and your outlook becomes clearer – you are more present with those you associate with because your whole self is in a better and healthier place.
Boundaries can be difficult to maintain, they require a good handle on knowing your limits and when to say no. When they become too difficult to handle on your own we encourage you to seek support and guidance. There are many qualified dear souls within your own community that can lend a helping hand or at least a good ear that can help you re-adjust your thinking and help you with establishing boundaries and discover ways that fit you to maintain them. If you include friends and family members then everyone learns and grows together and the realization of their words and how they have affected you will help open their eyes and become accountable. Becoming assertive by setting strong boundaries and sticking to them will help to transform your life – don’t fear it, become the strong and confident dear soul we know you can be and are meant to be. We know you deserve this, but it is you that must believe this as well and begin putting boundaries into place.
After you have constructed your boundaries, it is then your responsibility to follow through what you have established. Remember the dear souls that you interact with will not be mind readers; don’t expect them to already know when they have gone too far. When discomfort begins to feel like an ugly pressure, listen, be attentive and in a respectful way let the other person realize that the subject or what has developed through the discussion is beginning to bother you – possibly by informing of this discomfort, together you can address it and work out a mutual solution.
Just like any new skill that you have undertaken, begin small with setting and holding your boundaries in place. Remember they take practice. It is always best to begin setting boundaries with areas that are not too threatening, and then increase from building confidence into areas that cause greater discomfort and challenges. Don’t tackle something right away that makes you feel overwhelmed, start small and work towards your success one challenge, one obstacle at a time – you set the limit.
Setting boundaries is a skill any dear soul can master. Dig deep for that extra bit of courage and strength and don’t give up on yourself. Practice putting boundaries in place during every conversation and interaction. Allow yourself a little room for flexibility but remember to listen to your feelings, let them be the cues they are meant to be.
And so it is…
I AM Ascended Master, Serapis Bey through Julie Miller
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