CHANGING COUNTRIES - living in a country different from where you were born

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Permalink Reply by Stephanie on October 12, 2009 at 8:53pm

I have lived in Italy more years than in my own country, the good ol' USA. It took a lot to get used to all of the differences here, that is for sure. But, even though I have been here for many years, I am still considered the foreigner. I am the Americana, the Californiana, I am never really one of them, that is, never really Italian.
My accent when I speak Italian is definitely American, my style is not Italian, and my height is too tall for the majority of women here. Everything about me is considered different. The thing is, no matter what I do, people still call me the American.
At times it used to really bother me....like my daughter's friend once said "Hey, can you say that again?! " And she got me to repeat something in Italian (yet with my American accent). When I did, she started laughing....then I told her, hey, it would be nicer if you didn't laugh at me. This is my voice, I said. This is my accent. She was surprised, but she may have learned her lesson.
Anyhow, I will never really fit into this small town of 160,000 people. Being different is ok, sometimes it's fun. But it's not that nice to be reminded "That's ok, she's American". Everytime I express myself, or do something it's like it's ok because I am not one of them. How long does it take to fit in???

Permalink Reply by Stephanie on October 13, 2009 at 8:35am

Hello D.K.
please when you can, tell us about some of the differences...or some of your personal experiences.
Hope the moving goes smoothly
Good to see you here
Stephanie

Permalink Reply by Leah D (Pixie) on October 29, 2009 at 5:57pm

As You know Stephanie & many of my friends here, I am planning on moving from the Midwest USA to Glasgow,Scotland.
I am both very excited about this big move and a bit scared too. I am uncertain as to how I will be accepted there as an American? Already in many ways I have been treated unkindly by some UK citizens here on ipeace. But ,Mostly I have been accepted and supported lovingly and with open arms and kindness. Others however either have ignored me completely or been a bit elitist and rude as I have shown an interest and asked questions of the peace movement, politics, best areas to live,etc. of Scotland (areas just outside city centre of Glasgow.)
I was hurt deeply,some months ago, by one person in particular that I thought would best be able to help me,directed many comments,questions and even emails to him. Several places and on ipeace Scotland. I was completely ignored.Over and over & over again. Even after I wrote a discussion in regards to my move and engagement.Only 1 person (2 counting my fiancee; Des) even bothered to reply. Still, after many months of being a member and posting comments & questions there ,I am still ignored completely,as if I were invisible.
I am an easy going person that is friendly to all and generally make friends easily. In all different types of cultures. I adapt easily to new surroundings and take the time to learn about different cultures. I have lived in one state and Country all my life. However ,I have met and have been friends with people from all over the world, over many years.Including dating many different people from many different cultures & Countries, some that barely spoke the same language as me, since I was a teenager. When I was 17 I dated a man that had not been in the US very long who was from Lebanon.Due to the wars,terrorist attacks & conflicts in Lebanon at the time he dealt with a great deal of bigotry in my little Midwest town. He didn't even want his family,who owned the place we both worked & were my friends, to know we were a bit more than friends. He and his family tended to keep to themselves and did not date outside of their culture. He also told me in just a few words that due to all he had been threw in Lebanon he did not have the ability to Love. I tried to teach him that I was patient and would help him threw to learn to Love and trust again. Well, he really didn't give me the chance to,but I tried.
I was also much younger than he was so I think that factored into his choices. I adored him completely and could feel his sadness & pain, I so wanted to be there for him and show him that I wanted to understand and be supportive for him,again I was just 18 yrs old.

As many of you here already know, I met my fiancee' Des here on ipeace on New Years Eve 2008/9 on ipeace group chat. He has been to visit me here In US twice,but I've not been able to go to Glasgow Scotland to visit him and meet his family & community.
So, I guess whether or not I am accepted and not frowned upon as "the American outsider" is yet to be known. As long as I have my Dear Loving Des and my kitties I suppose is all that matters. I do hope whatever community Des and I decide to settle down in will accept me, if not ..well their loss..lol