The meaning of nothingness

as I sit here and struggle with my thoughts(which I do most days) I cant help but keep feeling lost in this void we call reality and wonder why. why see what we see, do what we do, feel what we feel, mostly just why exist? our perception is filtered through these limited senses and the incredible yet limited capacities of the human brain. there is so much out there we do not except or cant even imagine. i wonder why we are so limited and had to go through such an enormously long cycle of life to get to this point. it may seem short relative to a god though with no perception of time.why play this game of good and evil when there is no such thing? duality was such a mistake in my view. why did our collective consciousness pick this reality? are there more realities, like parallel universe or just other dimensions which are part of our existence yet beyond comprehension? this super hologram in my view has always left me with questions and no real answers. its painful to go through life with no path but its also painful to go through it on a path that leads nowhere. how would you describe it? this grandiose illusion of love and hate. do you blindly follow along the path hoping for a better tomorrow or question everything till it consumes you? im always trying to understand truth. can you tell me what that means?