Unconditional Love and Guidance...

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

One of the attributes that people see in God and strive for themselves is unconditional love. What is unconditional love?

The very fabric of existence is made up of unconditional love. What a statement!` I used to write 'it seems to me', or 'I think', before writing something quite that boldly. But I've decided to let go of those phrases in favor of recognizing that people can make up their own minds about what I write, whether I write it boldly or not. I trust my readers to think about what I write and know that they can disagree. If what I'm writing interests them or resonates, they can continue.

With that aside, back to the question at hand... What is unconditional love? In terms of the fabric of our lives, what it means is that what we 'want' is offered to us, without condition, by life. How can that be? Few of us would say we've always received what we want...

Yet what we want is not what we think we want. What we want is really what we think most about! And add to that, what we feel most strongly about. So if we spend a lot of time thinking about how loud our neighbors are, and perhaps add the feeling of anger to the mix, we have requested more experiences that are similar to that one. You can see very quickly how much into a quagmire we can all get!

So unconditional love doesn't judge whether the experiences we are requesting are positive or negative, fun or painful. It just gives us exactly what we are 'requesting'.

That offers us the opportunity to do something new with the new experiences, or to continue as we are. The old saying of doing what we've always done will get us what we've always gotten, certainly makes sense, here.

GUIDANCE

So, what to do if we truly want something different? There are a couple of keys to changing things. Which one appeals most to you may be the best guide for you as to which one to begin with. What I recommend is that you don't make this into something big or important. Take this easily and make small changes. See how it feels and then make more changes as you feel guided to do so.

What do I mean by being guided? It's kind of a nudge, a feeling, It isn't something specific, usually. Sometimes it is a returning regularly to an idea or thought, without meaning to, until that idea is accepted and acted upon. Others times it can be as overt as coming across a book that speaks to a question or a problem we're having. Guidance will work the best way it would for you. What guidance isn't, is conscience or guilt, fear or judgment. Guidance will feel good. It will point out a new direction in a way that makes that feel good to you.

FEELINGS

So, again, what are the keys to having things begin to go differently in our lives?

One key is to be alright with feeling things. If we're feeling something and we resist that feeling, judging ourselves for feeling it, then we will get more of that feeling! But if we relax, allow ourselves to feel the feeling, be okay with it, then the feeling is allowed to 'run it's course', and moves on. Emotions, as we've come to call some feelings, are energy in motion. When they or other feelings, come to a standstill in our bodies, and are not able to move, that is when things get tough in our lives.

I have a feeling in my side, somewhat painful, kind of a muscle ache kind of feeling, that I've been aware of and beginning to work with for myself. I am trying to just sit with it, when it is present, and allow myself to feel it.

So we can do this with bodily feelings as well as emotional ones. Of course, we should still follow our own instincts and guidance about whether it is time to see a medical professional of some sort.

Feeling a feeling doesn't mean that we act on it. It doesn't even need to mean that we talk about it. You will have to use your own guidance about this. Each of us are at a different stage in terms of how we deal with feelings. There are no steadfast rules about this. Obviously no one wants to hurt another person, and certainly no one would advise anyone else to do so. Anger is huge in our world today, and so when I say feel the feelings, if you're feeling anger, I'm not saying aim your anger at someone else. I'm saying feel it within yourself. That is where the real change will occur. Really make friends with anger. When you've made friends with it, you will know how it acts, what triggers it most in yourself, how long it lasts. You won't be afraid of it anymore. You won't try to push it away.

Anger has been a big one for me. I have gone through many stages with it, and am not done yet. I remember when I was younger I turned it against myself, thinking that doing that would protect others. Then I went through a stage when it seemed important to actually get angry out loud. When I was through with that stage--when I didn't judge myself or others for being vociferously angry, I didn't need to do that anymore so much.

So, one way to begin with this is simply to tune into your body, right now. You can take a moment and just check in with your body. Feel whatever it may be feeling. Don't try to label it or think about it. You can feel it overall, or you can focus in on one area or feeling. Be your own best expert. Just feel what is there and allow it to be there. Close your eyes if that helps. We'll talk more tomorrow. I'll give you another one of the keys then.