Unreasonable anger is just disguised grief

I have written much about children who are equivalent to "ticking bombs" and where we have to be very careful to avoid an explosion.
We easily forget that children who have not received the necessary assistance is still ticking bombs, or mined, as adults.
The difference is only that it is easier to deal with a child than an adult explosion outbreak.
When you are exposed to things that might get hooked to something painful it’s a healthy reaction to become a little sad, because it raises an old grief or pain.
Those who react with anger in a similar situation are the "deniers" those who are not able to see their pain nor do they want to see their sorrow. For them grief is associated with anger because they have not ”processed” what life has made to them ..

Anger is a defence against grief, and as long as they do not find other ways to deal with it, it is important that the anger may be a defence even if it is destructive
The alternative is that the person totally loses foothold with all that may mean.
It may be helpful to understand from where the sometimes irrational anger comes from. That does not mean that people are mean or evil. It just means that they are in pain. They do not know themselves that the anger does not have any larger connection with what it was all about, even if for example the topic in itself can act as a trigger.

Indefensible Anger is just a repressed and disguised pain

I have called these phenomena "outactings” when you project inner feelings on things, events and persons in your surroundings and no one understands. Something that further sprinkle salt in the inner wounds of the these people.
But nevertheless, we can not go on tiptoe for the existence of mined people in our surroundings. What we can do is warn the people in question that they need help with "defusing."

Everything is possible to understand ... The question is just if we are up to..

But at least we must keep in mind that their anger are just disguised grief

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Comment by gunilla caisson on April 2, 2009 at 2:49pm: To Jennifer. Yes that sounds good to me. But which are the "tools" to find out who you really are? Or the means to reach the goal?

Comment by Jennifer Bhala Hansen on April 2, 2009 at 8:25am: I think we are all on this earth to find out who we really are, what we are doing here, what is our purpose. Basically to ask Who am I? Until we know who we are, we will experience negative emotions. Once we know who we truly are, there will be peace.

Comment by gunilla caisson on April 1, 2009 at 11:09pm: To Abelia. Yes that´s almost always another feeling in the bottom of unreasonable anger, so as you say it is a good idea to try to find out for yourself what awoke that rage...

Comment by Abelia on April 1, 2009 at 9:09pm: Dear Gunilla, I remember a book where it says that 'anger is always a secondary emotion'...That you don't feel anger first...that there is always another emotion that comes first, underneath the anger, as fear, frustration, helpless, powerless, etc
I find useful in myself each time I feel with anger, to try to find which is the real emotion that is causing me to feel like that...(when you discover it, many times the anger goes away...)
Love, Abelia

Comment by gunilla caisson on April 1, 2009 at 9:03pm: To Anders , Make me glad to see that we have the same "glasses" on :)

Comment by gunilla caisson on April 1, 2009 at 9:01pm: To everybody
I`m familiar with anger. That doesn`t scare me since I know what it stands for.
My beloved father had a terrible temperament but a heart of gold. Pity thought that I had to grow up before I really did understand what his " outactings" stood for. But he learned me a lot...and I inherited some of his temperament. I have learned to live with that 'smile*