White City Yesterday Dreamer Drag Sunset Down

Reposted from my LiveJournal page, Collective Transubstantiation:

I was in love with the world. through another person's eyes. I knew them and felt them and then they dumped me on my face. my eyes were shut her eyes were shut. it was a wait and see game for a happy day, but we all have to pay we pay we pay for that happiness and the morning after we're shitcanned. situations get fucked up and turned around eventually. we just wait and see. I'm what you tell me I am. I'm damaged bad at best and she'll decide what she wants, but I'll be the last one to know. see how it is. they want you or they don't. I didn't understand this, but I thought you'd be looking for the next in line for love and ignore what I've put away saw you soon will be leaving me alone like I'm supposed to be tonight tomorrow. there's nothing here you'll miss. what a fucking joke, trying to occupy space, a joke. I waited for a bus the bus never came to take me far away from you. drink up baby, you'll never see your own potential. drink up with me. forget all the pressure. you'll never make it, so I'll make you okay and drive them away. people you've been before that you don't want around anymore. they push. they shove and fuck and fight. they won't bend, but we'll drink and hold them still and I'll kiss you again. your hands in the air. you wait to finally be caught. . I'll make you mine, keep you apart, deep in my heart. old jack loves you the best and I'll hold all those people still. they may push and shove, but I'll keep them still for you. My feelings never change and I always feel like shit. I just do. I just do. you once talked to me about love and you painted pictures of a never never land that I could've gone to but I didn't understand what you meant I didn't have a happy place or a happy thought to help me fly there. the final fix. the final fix. the perfect day to sail away and float forever through space a future butterfly gonna spend the day higher than high you'll be beautiful. once I was like that, but I found the final fix everybody knows everybody knows. I saw you come between all the people making the scene and the bright idea for tomorrow . don't go too far, stay who you are. everybody knows everybody knows you only live a day, but it's brilliant anyway. go to sleep. so you lie, a perfect place, the final fix is coming soon, but not today. got to sleep, make a change. I'll meet you here tomorrow. independence day. my mama told em baby stay clean there's no in between. first of all. she appears composed, but she's not. who can tell. she shows no emotion at all she stares into space, a dead china doll . there's a story about a lady at a party. she waits, spooky and withdrawn . she could be under water. swept aside. I hate to fall behind. I saw you waiting same light, but with a warning. you don't belong here. I went to watch the parade of circulating bunnies. marching down the street, winking in and out of view, between the heads of the crown and throwing out money candy to people all clapping in slow motion inspection is driving me insane. and we'll go to the parade and trip over the dogs while people shout and push the time is slow. the time is very slow, it slows to a grind to a halt and the band plays on and we start to sing along to a victory song we ebb and flow behind the crowd, peeking and peaking through the shoulders. the trumpet is sleeping, drinking, falling fucking and pissing all over the simplest music. the bunnies all wound down, nobody is less interested than me. when they clean the street, I'll be the only shit that's left behind.


i want to be starting something but i don't know how to get it flowing and free it from its amber prison. i want to be starting something i got to be starting something i'm stuck in the middle open up say a prayer if we're to stay alive. i don't want to wait for my life to be done before i realize what i was supposed to do. but it takes patience, a shit ton of patience that i sometimes don't think i have.

the white devil. heaven hell ego tripping and flipped scripts

the patience is there sometimes, but i keep falling and i can't find the strength to keep makin and shakin the wands and chip the trees in the scene, hands in the air and screaming where are we now's got me all turning in circles and circles over and over and under and through the bunny goes around the tree and through the hole. you languished there in your rooms while my patience grew thinner and thinner and thinner i don't need to walk around in circles, i just need to keep on moving upward onward more on up to the east side and i know that ghostly violence changes everything and that panic is pure. the panic pure. like cured meat. i don't need it.

somewhere lost in this afterthought he came from back in the long ago. sentimental fool tries to recreate what had yet to be created. she musters a smile for his nostalgic tail, but what he thought there was, never was. . .

it's as easy as a song a pistol a gong.

it's funny and sad. this feeling that there is so little time and so much to do. we can't hide from our destinies. we have to meet them head on and we have to find what is calling us before it's too late. i don't want to turn around and look back and find that it was all meaningless, i missed the call, the bus. my gift.the rainbow connection and why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side. sing it kermit . rainbows are illusions that hide nothing. some day we'll find it, the rainbow connection between the lovers the dreamers and me, us.

and what do we do with a college education? a BA in English. what is my life going to be. scat scat oh oh ohohohohhohoh come apart baby,

i didn't make it sugar playing by the rules, i come apart, i'm checkin trouble and moving down the line. i come apart but that's sokay and trouble don't get in my way. i've been for real baby. going to keep going going gone to town there's only 2 things for sure, taxes death trouble. i..i know it baby. i know it sugar anit't gonna let it sweat me baby...trouble man. and we can dance for inspiration dance and dance and feel the rhtythm and get into the groove of the cut and we can feel the music and step to the beat and what will we be. it's a revelation dancing we hope this feeling never ends and we can't feel this free unless we can dance with someone else. i'm tired gotta get into the groove and prove that we are somebody we can be somebody and step to the beat and this doesn't happen every day.

we all want to be superstars and drive fast cars live so larger. we're not in charge . we only want and want want to want to want these are the remains of the generation we got to be rock superstars and live large ego maniac in the braniac. and then there will be one to come and unite us all bring us together, a leper messiah. charging across the universe up and out up and out on the great glass elevator. he'll fly high and just burst forth out of into the sky. we'll give him the best of our love and he'll make us so happy take away our ego and bring us back to earth. this messiah only has to take the mantle. grab that handle and pull. jackpot.

and i want the whole wide world to see that the best of me was spent doing what i loved and trying to find what i loved and then doing it. hearing the calling and not wasting time on endless ego games. the old story has it that we don't change but we become more of the same. more of the same. do we change? no, we resist change and change isn't a sure thing, but the human's will and strength to stay the same is a sure thing. we cease to move forward and just languish in she tidal ebbs and flows of the universe. trapped in the tide pools.

double up double up double.

don't waste this dance on me. don't bother . step and climb the way you do and let me watch the turns you do. my heart is with you. don't worry bout what i will see, i always was here within your head and . this whole life , this whole body is a piss factory. it's a hot wet dam. body heat.

we're getting screwed up the ass for our things. i'm a speedo motorcycle sisters we gotta relate and find the rhythm within. bang bang. looking through the endless inspiration. licking wounds young and lost and separated your given name has faded . silvertag signals reflections. i'm already lost. the game is drawing closed and what's the frequency kenneth? what is the frequency, the station we should be hearing. telling us where to go, what's happening. we've gotta tune in, turn on, and blast out of this little reality we're overthrowing in. we gotta understand and come together. .

take a look at us now. take a second glance. the universe is talking to us with every breath. the UC is calling but we're not listening. how can we walk away and they watch us leave? we've shared the lives and the feelings, senses emotions, but take a look at it now. we can leave the ego behind . nothing left to remind us of that feeling of ice cream on our tongues.

it's an empty empty space. we're a real boss hoss, a real boss hoss. . reach in the spore it's sensitive and a bore. we speak in rhythms and we ooze surprise. there's no cure for this terminal existence. we're here to go. we're all here to go and this is a great big spaceship of viruses and we're the virus. we're the cancer spreading across the scrotum of the chimneysweep of the world. guide me to the mouth of the sores. driving the panic. i'm blue and unwell. thankfully unaware. it makes bolt like a horse. the sea and rhythm has changed me so. like violets covered with snow.

we cling to this now, this existence an the dead detritus of existence. we can only cling on for dear life because we don't see that the floor is just below our feet. we're can stand up without falling. if you wanted to. if you want to fall, there will be someone to catch you. a place where nobody ever goes.

with love we came to know what they called zanadu. and now open your eyes and see that what we've made is real. we make our own reality and the million dancing lights are shining bright and high through the eternal everlasting world. here to go. here's a floor just below the fog, only right out of reach. the thumb is there, we only have to grasp a bit further. . if you want me to, i can hang here with you and we can live our days in gentle ignorance of the universe, languishing in the materialism, the baremarket senses and pleasantness of life without reality . .

so many people see what's going on, but they can't just tell us, no, we must see for ourselves. there are many paths to follow . we can follow an infinite number of them, but it is only for us. only we can travel that path, all alone. nobody can tell you how to find that path or walk its distance, but when the time comes we'll be on the mountaintop, where many before and many more to come will find and meet and learn how important each person you see can be. the most important learning is discovering the people around you. finding their special nature. pointing to the path, but nothing more. being the light post to light the way. guide the way. .

we're making up our history this is no modern mystery. standing in line waiting for some purchase, marking time in the land of ego senses and goods. I am the pen, but not the ink. mouth, but not the voice, the hand, but not the muscle, the thought, but not the mind.

that's not just the way it is, some things can change and will change, and must change. we can only have so much darkness before the dawn . we've only just begun to live. when we break free of the bindings and chains of basal reality, we'll see that we've only just begun to really live. live in the real universe. before the rising sun. we can fly and there are so many roads to choose, start walking on the path and then start to run and before we can even know we'll be living in the now. we'll be above and beyond the meat and sinew of this world of wood and steel. and when the path leads up the mountain we'll smile. so much life lives again, and we'll find the place where there's room to grow.

we've only just begun. as shitty as that song is, in the context of universal consciousness, and the path up the mountain, it becomes something else altogether. more than just a commercial for a bank. it's about perspective above and beyond content. perspective will make us whole. this was, this will be a triumph. we will overcome we'll see the promised land from the mountain top and although we may not be able to get in now, eventually, if we keep on trying until we run out of cake, we'll get to that promised land. we'll get there even if it takes hundreds of years and hundreds of incarnations. even though you broke my heart and killed me and tore my body to pieces and threw them into a fire, it doesn't matter because once we reach to the top of that mountain and see that promised land, glittering and connected, we know, well, we know we were there all along. it is in us all and we are from it and will return back to it in time. when the time comes.

we must love most of all and be the light and the guide in the darkness to light the signs to the path. that is all we can be. and we're still alive and while they're dying we'll be alive and when all the meat of the world is dead we'll still be alive as we always were and always will be. pull me close and try to understand. desire is for the animals. we are under our own command. they can't hurt you now, once you let that go., the pain is gone. because the night of the world belongs to lovers and ego dreamers. eaters and piggies. the night belongs to the animals, the lust, the evil. that drive of the animal to fight and fuck and kill, that devil's drive. the satan drive.of the ego owns the night and we are in the light and we can see the light through the heaviest and darkest nights. they can't hurt us now and couldn't ever. they only think they can and want us to believe that they can.

i have the will to feel or to not feel and to see the night for what it is. temporary. tempting and temporary. . everything is alive and significant given the right perspective. it's all intertwined on a cosmic level. we ebb and flow in the same tidal pools that are part of the ginorous ocean of reality. undifferentiated matter the UC.

there is no holiday. we are here and now alive as we ever were or ever will be. if we took a holiday, some time to celebrate, we may never come back. we'll be stuck in those little tidepools that we create around ourselves. filled with money and success and houses and boats and things. but that pool is part of the larger whole. it's part of that ocean. that ocean of reality and even if we wanted to deny it, we can't. the true perspective is further out. it's all the ocean, no matter how well hidden your tidepool is, it's all connected to the greater conscious reality. we think we need a holiday but we can turn this world around and bring back all those happy days. our ego is telling us to put our troubles down. let love shine and that's the path to the way we can come together and make things better.

the holiday is the holiday from the ego. if we took that holiday we could celebrate the reality of life amongst the stars, the ocean full of stars. Madonna had it right once. i can't speak for her now, but there was a time when Madonna was right on . whether she knew it or not is debatable, but in truth, if the perspective is right, she was as enlightened as the Buddha. take a holiday from the ego and it would be so nice. circles in the sand round and round the sand touches the ocean where the waves break on the shore and we're all pieces of sand, not larger than particles of sand, falling toward the wave, sucked back into the ocean from our tidepools, then redistributed to the shore. come back, roll into this tidepool or that, then wash away again. over an over. grains of sand. set adrift on memory bliss. . the suspense is killing me. i hope it lasts . fat diamond rings don't mean a thing. . it's one of those deja vu things. that old dream is trying to tell you things. it's all subterranean, but if you listen and hear and watch the signs, follow the lightness the guiding light of love around you. flow with the universe right up to your path and baby we'll send you adrift on memory bliss on the universal memory . the conscious memory of the unconscious.

i've seen good and bad people taking the stronger and straight course to the corner of your life. the white queen is the white hot ego, the want desirelovelustgluttony and this news has been captured by the queen. but you can move onto any square. any time you want. the goal is to capture all we want. move onto any square. don't surround yourself with yourself means don't surround yourself with the meat of humanity. the falseness of the senses or the wants and desires of your own egos. don't do it. . move me onto any black square, take me any time you want. shed that light onto the chessboard of our undifferentiated reality.

the metaphors are endless. the white queen, st. Stephen, dire wolf, dark star. time with your time. there is not time. minutes become years and years are mere seconds. the goal is for us all to capture all we want. we create our own reality right here and right now, we just don't know it. we're all vehicles of the UC and we all have the means and the way to enlightenment, the top of the mountain, we have the means to get there and reach the promised land of nirvana. don't surround yourself with the meat of yourself . send that instant karma to me and initial it with love and care. instant karma is a deep metaphysical issue. it's deeper than i am right now, but all that info is captured by the white ego queen. all i'm saying is give peace a chance? what a load of shit. that part of the song is not the real message. peace is wonderful, but peace comes through the overcoming of the ego. peace is a destination, not a means or a method. i've seen all good people turn their heads each day, so satisfied. . good people turn their heads from the reality of the UC, but the singer of this song is satisfied and on his way to enlightenment. He's seen the people turn away and he's not turning away any more from his destiny.

you've got your diamonds and pretty clothes. your ego, but don't play with the UC because it's fire. it's the white hot fire of dawn and it's going to rain light all over the darkness of the fleshy meaty devil ego. inside us all is heaven and hell, god and the devil. it is within us and we can find it, like the mountain top. once we're up so high we can see everything with the right perspective. and we will want to love all people and love all things and i need to get back into the arms of enlightenment and the path to enlightenment and love somebody , everythingbody. . what the world needs now is love, sweet love. it's a crappy cliché, but it's true and i will write about it at length very soon.



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