there's a vibe that comes up when the subject is broached. a vibes, like "don't talk about that!"
which is another level of the "tell dad and i'll KILL you" trip that I got at the age of eight.


after i got decent therapy in my thirties a lot of things changed for me.
especially my attitude towards bullies, and the sort of people who use insincere laughter to cover up their own insensitivity -- or the subtle ways in which they themselves have supported the institutionalized abuses of children, the disabled --

there are two groups of sick people, actually.
the ABUSERS who get away with it via some version of the aforementioned tactic are ALSO mentally and emotionally not healthy. They function in society.

I am sure that many people will wish to talk about this -- but will be afraid to.

please, talk about what you feel comfortable talking about.
(signed)

http://www.urantia.org/

owing to rational anarchism, i very rarely TRUST any dotorgs, though.
that one, however, is Good.

Views: 186

Replies to This Discussion

These trauma I`m sure will follow the victims for the the whole life if they do not get help to process it...
poor old people who sit there at some home with these unprocessed feelings... I`m sorry for them.....
i will add my list do with it what you will when you read it. i do not harbor hate for any of them they will get what they deserve one way or another, one day or another or one lifetime or another ! do not think that i do not participate most of the time with these type of sights because i am still under the "no talking about it" horror, but rather i prefere to be judged with my own abilities and personality i dislike sympathy in any form and i do not go around saying "hi im christine i was abused most of my life" i am as much as the other person a product of my enviroment but i shall never again weep for that lost child since i cannot get her back and i cannot go back and save myself but i can continue to live and love graciously shareing with whom i trust. within the confines of my heart i have sadness for the child that never was, but i have great respect for the woman i became in spite of the circumstances. not every onei know knows of what happened and even thoes who are close to me do not know the details, it is not for them to know sorry they are my nightmares i alone will deal with them. i do not share to help me deal with them i share only so that others do not feel alone but then we all know that already dont we. we all know its not our fault etc etc im tired of hearing that for me it doesnt help at all, going over and over the abuse how could that possibly help? do you hear some one talk on and on about a car accident that severed their legs or do they work on learning how to live with out legs? we must learn to live and live joyously with out the child we could have been we must stop mourning the lost one and rejoice at the one left to live, im not sniding any of your pains but there comes a time when the tears must dry when fear turns to hope and sadness becomes joy and hate melts into nothingness we are who we are no matter what has been done to us. look at the beauty which is with in you and cling to that make it grow so that you are all you wish to be confidant, beautiful, calm, loving, secure, safe! I know you feel it, it is there it is that little spark that tells you life is worth living even if life is full of pain, we are adults now we have the control now we can do what ever it is that make us happy we can dream of a better place we can make our own place safe we can make our own children safe because we have seen the wolf in disguise and know what it looks like. do not second guess yourselves listen to your inner voice (not the voice of your oppressor/s) know the difference if the voice tells you something about yourself that is negative shove it asside do not listen if it tells you possitive things embrace it as truth! eventually you will know the true voice when events, voices, smells,words, places,etc sling you back to the events which caused your fear and anger identify them as what they are mnemonics nothing more. you are safe with in your new self you can even learn to mentally evaluate the incidents in your life that created the turmoil in the first place when we understand ourselves as much as humanly possible then we can use fear in a healthy manner not let fear use us! the list i previously mentioned is a list of people who between the ages of 6 mo to 23 abused me in one form or another there are aproximately 20 entries of that about 18 are sexual assults 1 of which lasted for about 10 years i know i am lucky to not have succumbed to madness by now although there were many times i thought i was on the brink but i know that when our childhood has been compromised we must go through the mourning process just as if someone has died some times it takes a long time some times it is short but the steps must be taken none the less. i just feel it is time for many to stop with the sorrow step and start with the acceptance and healing steps and time to keep living and growing and learning i will never be able to define the abuse (even killers know not why the do it they just do) but i refuse to be defined by it as well!
christine. we all that have survived and overcome child abuse deal in different ways. The 1st time i ever wrote publicly about it was here so another person that wrote a great deal would Not feel alone. Since then I have written much more,not in details but shared in this public forum,no not for sympathy but to help others and in process also helped myself. Many different ways that many of us deal,care for ourselves and several is how survive is our inner child. For me and many others here ; listening to ,indulging,playing and loving our inner child,or the child within is healing.
I do this, my lil girl within loves to play,be silly laugh and yes have the happy childhood that was stolen from me. Some days she is sad and hurts,I give inner self the love and care needed Whatever the wounded lil girlie within needs. I acknowledge,not push aside or hide but allow to feel what I feel care for self and go on.
giunilla's network The Child Within has many forums,blogs,discussions that gives us a place to do this. Surpressing,ignoring,denying our inner child is not healthy,again we all have our own ways of coping,moving on.No, I am not defined by the abuse I went threw all my childhood ;till 15 yrs old. It is just a part of what makes me the strong loving caring playful woman I am. I have good days and bad days, "triggers" that bring up what I had thought had already dealt with & moved on from, I learned or realized some years ago that I had not but only had hid away and that will always be just a part of who I am, being true to myself by honoring,accepting ALL that makes me who I am.No, I do not mourn the loss of my child within cuz she is alive and part of me. Some times feels scared betrayed bruised hurt and alone,but mostly she is living the childhood that was denied. I acknowledge my child within's existence and play,laugh,love,giggle,be silly and also acknowledge the sadness & pain too. No I do not thrive on the pain & sadness but I do not hide it deny or push to the side either.
Here & gunilla's other groups & network is safe places to just be..who we are,no masks to hide behind. To share the Laughter & Joy of life and the Sadness & Pain of it too.
I am also christine not one to have succumbed to madness but instead I am and have thrived as a positive influence in the world, it is and always will be a process of growth,learning,teaching,sharing,loving and caring; for self and others.
Thank You for sharing and I hope that you will continue to, in any way that you want to.
One thing does not exclude the second or?
Having gone on with ones life still give people the right to now and then mourn the child they lost.Even think we owe that to the child,that does not mean that we stop our development and just allow us to be defined as an grown up abused.
I have only indirect experiences through the children I have taken care of so i cannot say how I should have reacted if it had happened to me. I just know that there are so many different ways of dealing with childhood traumas. Many became destructive. Others became very determined to not let this break them and they fight hard to turn their look away from what once happened and they do not even like that other talk about their grief since that touches their own wound. Still others who have managed to go on are so strong that they can live with this loss and be aware of it but do not let that interfere in their joy in life. They can mourn their lost child without getting lost themselves. just like you mourn a loved one that is dead. For example I can still cry for my mother sometimes, she died, some years ago, i will always miss her and my father but that grief takes nothing from my life . on the contrary it gives me something to think tenderly of them, so I do not want to loose them totally by not thinking of them...

I do not know if that made any sense...*smile*
I have such a hard time looking for the right words in English...

Thank you christine for your contribution to this important discussion
i added this topic for conversation because i BELIEVE that the subconscious underpinnings are dirctly connected to the causes that nations continue to go to war --

-- coupled with the phenomenon of, frankly, impotent peace activists. and that could be said to include all peace activists -- as we must frankly accept that those who rule our planet are basically swift to abuse -- and scoff at the idea of applying loving wisdom to conflicts.

those are the direct adversaries of the idea of real peace being created in our world...

the idea is: if a few people can break through and make a causal path backwards through the trauma, they will find some whole and feeling form of that small child -- it is the child that is naturally peaceful...it's my theory that the feeling preserved inner child living within the conscious, thinking adult mind will able to see through the WALL OF LIES perpetuated by the military industrial mindset that we are at present sharing the planet with -- albeit, with difficulty...did any of that make sense?>
I did anyhow understand what you said about healing the inner child., and I so do agree.*smile'

The abuse of our children do not make only the children concerned suffer..They grow up and those who did not get any help with this healing will be the ones that creates new wounds in other peoples heart and soul, through different kind of violence. and abuse .. The "ripple effects" are great and many circles get closed...

So helping these children, and grown ups with a little and neglected child within is the best we can do for our society...If we all want to live in peace... .

Talking honestly is a necessary step to healing. I think there is such an attitude because people want to ignore the problem in hopes that it will go away and because so many people have been abused and do not want to open themselves up to their own pain. We should feel pain when something painful has happened. The results will show, rage, mistrust, etc. as long as we refuse to acknowledge the pain.

I hope that everyone who has experienced this trauma will be healed of their pain and will move forward toward the love and beauty and hope that is still part of humanity.

I am still on the healing journey myself.

RSS

Latest Activity

Lucy Williams updated their profile
Jul 5, 2023
Sandra Gutierrez Alvez updated their profile
Oct 1, 2022
DallasBoardley updated their profile
Feb 8, 2022
RADIOAPOLLON1242 AIGOKEROS PANOS updated their profile
Feb 2, 2022
Shefqet Avdush Emini updated their profile
Jul 2, 2021
Ralph Corbin updated their profile
Jun 25, 2021
Marques De Valia updated their profile
Mar 24, 2021
SSEAYP - South-East Asian Youth liked David Califa's discussion Flash Banners Here
Feb 29, 2020

© 2024   Created by David Califa. Managed by Eyal Raviv.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service