I have written much about children who are equivalent to "ticking bombs" and where we have to be very careful to avoid an explosion. We easily forget that children who have not received the necessary assistance is still ticking bombs, or mined, as adults. The difference is only that it is easier to deal with a child than an adult explosion outbreak.

 

When you are exposed to things that might get hooked to something painful it’s a healthy reaction to become a little sad, because it raises an old grief or pain.

 

Those who react with anger in a similar situation are the "deniers" those who are not able to see their pain nor do they want to see their sorrow. For them grief is associated with anger because they have not ”processed” what life has made to them ..

 

Anger is a defence against grief, and as long as they do not find other ways to deal with it, it is important that the anger may be a defence even if it is destructive The alternative is that the person totally loses foothold with all that may mean.

 

It may be helpful to understand from where the sometimes irrational anger comes from. That does not mean that people are mean or evil. It just means that they are in pain. They do not know themselves that the anger does not have any larger connection with what it was all about, even if for example the topic in itself can act as a trigger.

 

Indefensible Anger is just a repressed and disguised pain

 

I have called these phenomena "outactings” when you project inner feelings on things, events and persons in your surroundings and no one understands. Something that further sprinkle salt in the inner wounds of the these people. But nevertheless, we can not go on tiptoe for the existence of mined people in our surroundings. What we can do is warn the people in question that they need help with "defusing."

 

Everything is possible to understand ... The question is just if we are up to.. But at least we must keep in mind that their anger are just disguised grief

 

 

 

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Replies to This Discussion

I think we can see this everywhere. Specially when children get an "anger attack", one is pretty sure that it`s sadness behind and therefore we must meet them there... Not always easy . But it passes more quickly if we can se the sorrow behind and react accordingly
So true if we all allowed ourselves to show all kind of feelings we should not have to explode in such an unreasonable anger... "like a pressure cooker " ,exact
When we explode , which must mean that we have collected much frustration under long time and that the lid to the pressure cooker can not resist any longer. So I think
that much of the insanity of anger,, that we are seeing around us or read about and that often leads to very destructive actions, would reduce
you're really talking to one of the really important things.


BUT -- did you ever have the situation happen
where
someone tells someone else that their rage is unjustified - and as such, that reaction
makes the rage worse!


it really is true that when Love and Rage are combined, they are the most powerful combo -

and rage without love -- doesit
self-destruct? does it
short itself out?

my theory is that Love is the root of all real Intelligence...

-------
I do not know what love has to do with intelligence. I must have missed something here. I think Love is the root of many things but I have never reflected upon this connection *smile* Have to start now...

Of course we shall not tell anyone that their rage is because of grief that I`m sure in that moment will make him/her still more angry...But for those who want to help such a person it may be good to know, so the judgment will be a bit milder...'smile'
Yes there is always an explanation, That doesn`t mean that the anger isn`t unreasonable, since it has
nothing to do with the fact why a person exploded. The reason is not to be found in what was said or done , but within the person that overreacted... And when we look closer we will see that it is often about disguised grief...
True
*smile* Yeah knowing that make it easier to deal with our children's  rage
Controlling anger brings peace...

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