confusion -- the war in my heart

trying to understand the war in the middle east is so hard for me. My heart bleeds for the Israelis who have fought for centuries for a place to call home. That's what I understand -- what I've been told. I don't know the truth. Truth is just so elusive. It was easier in 1970, when I was 21 and everything looked good in black and white -- for or against -- dividing the world into good guys and bad guys. Now I just want to understand an incredibly complex situation, and bring peace and healing to my little part of the world in whatever way I can. This is a difficult enough task, when I can't even walk past a particular co-worker without feeling irritated, or defensive around my own sister! I am a child welfare worker, and frequently talk to families about choosing whether they want to be a family of war or of peace. People get that. I don't know -- I'm just taking baby steps into being a true peacemaker and felt moved to begin to give a voice to my thoughts and feelings on a subject I want to understand, enter a discussion, and if necessary be shaken out of indifference to others' suffering. I've never been to the middle east. I want to understand; I want to wake up and Be a force for love. That's what my God teaches -- not hating and killing. If I'm going to put my faith in God, it will be a God of love and peace, or no god at all.