Laura's Comments

I need to apologize. I am working on trying to control how I express my emotions better, so that this stuff does not keep happening. It is simply reality that somethings are just very difficult to cope with, and I cannot always maintain the emotional boundaries I need to keep in place. Either way, I think it is still possible for us to work through our issues without it turning into Jerry Springer. We simply have to avoid working each other up and getting bogged down in he said / she said arguments. I also understand that I need to play by the rules and not start expressing inappropriate emotions. I have a bad tendency to sublimate and repress things that are eating me up and then vent in a barrage of emails, especially this time of year.

It can also be hard for me though because you don't communicate that much of what is actually going on unless you are extremely upset. So from my perspective, I am always finding out about more and more and more things that I wish if you had valued our friendship, you would have been honest about or at least trusted me. It's very difficult when it is never clear to me until everything has hit the fan why you made certain choices, or what was influencing you. I am not saying I want to interfere in your life. But for me, it causes me a lot of anxiety when I feel like I am always lost in the dark and the fact of the matter is that you could make more of an effort to develop your empathic / relational side or at least try to communicate emotionally while (and this is key) you are not drunk. I really don't think you always took into consideration the effects of some of the things you did and said on other people. I understand and am trying to deal with the things I say which are tantamount to emotional abuse. There is no two ways around it. I have thought about it for the last few months, and I know the things I say are absolutely over the top and designed to really upset people.