About me.... share a little of my life 2!

I Belive i was the spring that year i should be 15 years old,i met a guy who feel sorry for me.
He show me a way out but that way was not the best "o no", in that moment a new chapter started in my life.
The guy who helpt me was a drug dealer..... i take some and i feld so good " it was cocain",i stand up to my father and i started to be out almost all the time... it was a world outside our home where i belived that people respect each other!
It starting go down for me... at this moment we lived in Htown and it was about 6 mounth after i jumped out the window and get hurt when i landed on the ground from second floor...any way you know that i got hit by my father that time because i try to runaway from my earlier blog!
The school and socail office let me quit school on one conditon.... i started to work at farm a couple of miles from Htown,it went well at first then i started to miss my NEW friends.
I belive i worked at the farm about 7 mont,then i went back to Htown to my new friends.... ooooh they where happy to see me and they fix a big big party with alot of alcohol and drugs.
It was ok for me i started to be some body and i started to train self defence... first it was boxing,yeah this was fun for me.. because i got some respect out on the street.. then it was moore drugs and moore drugs... one day they told me it was time to pay back for all things they have done for me!
I answer OK what do you want me to do?
I should deliver a parcel to a guy and if it went well they should pay me a little... so i say ok lets go!
It went well and i becane a courier, then one day... i was on my way to a place... a couple of guys stop me.... they wanted the parcel.... i try to talk me out of... but... i couldent!
One guy picks up a gun and put it on my head.. i got so scared... i hand over the paecel... i tought i just could walk away from them but now he hit me with gun in my head so fell to the ground and the blood came out of my head!
i took me back to my friends,they got piss offed and they started to look after these guy´s.
I started to train self defence real hard and became quite good actualy!
That was the new beginíng of a career... i became a collector after that with my own weapon... i´ll do some dirty work for drugs... i have done everything without killing someone and doing some time in jail... i got lucky after all!
i stop with the heavy drug 1987... the same year we drove of the road in 180 km/h... i survived that to....
And i quite as a collector and that realy bad guy i was!
After that it was acohol and pain killers... i met my daughters mom 1989 i belive,1991 came our daughter to the world!
I cant say i was a good father... or partner!!
I was mean... i dont hit them... never what i can rember.. i was out with my friends... i was out on work.. when i was home i was so restless... well we fell apart and i met my boys mom "by the way,she helpt me to be drug free at 1987" under all these years i have trained selfdefence.
I had serious problem to be in a relationship... december 1999 was it time to quit agian and to be sober NO alcohol NO pain killers...she helpt me again... tehn it was time for my first boy to come to the world...ok i was with her when she gave birth to boy!
But i couldent stand the screaming of the little boy " i was under stress because i have abstinece after pain killers and alchol".
We tryed again to be together... i had my problems and we try to work on them,then was the time for our second and last child to come to world... 2003... on way in to the hospital we crashed " the car who was behind just samsh into the car we where in"the car went 20 cm shorter".
I ended on ER and she at the department for birth... the day after i was with her when our little son came to world.
this little little boy was not big at all .. he was born to early and the weight of him was only 1 kg.. he started his life in a incubator and wiyh alot of medecine :( he was dieing form us a couple of times but they successfully saved him every time .... the stress and the hospital maked me crazy and i couldent stand the pressure so i freaked out and walk ;( !
After that till now i have my life fixed up and i live a good life and sober since dec 1999 and without painkillers to!
But i must tell under my year on drugs i was realy mean to my duaghter... but i can also tell you that we have worked it out and we have been att a school and talk about how it is to live junky and child in a family!
Today and since a couple of years back" actualy since 2000" we have the most wounderful contact we dont have any secrets for each other and we laughe and cry together :).
But i still have to work with my boys mom comunicaton and have to work real hard so we can stay friends for the children´s sake... so the contact are good and not like it is today!

I have come far form where o have been.... and i working to be better and better as a human and as a father!

Best regards Kenneth Alfsson

Ps if i was like i am today every thing has being diffrent... today i´m strong and can handle everything who comes in my way on my journey in life!

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