Personal history

Taken from a post again for being to long and not enough peace to put in a group so I'm putting it on my page and will edit it later,
right now I have invested much time here...
I am on $200 a month income during a hay shortage and have a horse who needs me to fight for his life to buy expensive hay because I could not cut enough fast enough by hand to get him through the winter...

I feel almost forced, to speak of what is not peace in my life that I have withheld.
I am not against We are ONE.....
I have lived most of my life alone, in wilderness.

My father was killed when I was 12, and from what I learned, I, was next.....
I fled in fear of my life from humans, and if caught would be sent back,
in my mind, that meant to my death, so I stayed away and lived in wilderness.
On becoming an adult, married and got into an accident it was bicycle vs truck
the truck won.
My insurance canceled on me, covering my medical and wage loss,
my wife filed for divorce the next day.
The government gave me training, but was to learn computers,
and after I learned to type, said I had a marketable skill and my classes were ended.


I lived in a cardboard box under a bride
was walking through town and saw an art store selling artwork,
and felt I could do better than I saw, spent what I could raise on 5 tubes of paint,
3 brushes and 3 canvases, and sold my first painting before I was even done with it.
Skipping more of the story, I met a woman we had a child, and I thew her out of the house we were buying for things she did I wont repeat here.
A man learned about me,
I had an offer to buy some land that was remote, and took it,
and a back pack and my son and 3 wolf hybrids, and moved back into the wilds,

where I know how to live better than I do in a town, so I could raise my son.
While I was there, I met and became friends with someone in town were I could sell my artwork, I did paintings on road killed deer hides of my wolves who became my sled team.

Then, one by one, my team was being murdered when I would go to town,
and it took the lives of several before it dawned on me something about my "friend".....
What happened to my mind was nothing pretty, as I fought with all I was,
not to kill him........ and won but lost my mind in the process..... and had my sons mother take our child until I could recover.
She then returned him to me, before I was ready,

and Social Services became involved,
and took my son from me.......
And I fought many years for his return, even selling what so many called Paradise,
to move back to Alaska, to give him the chance they would not.

I have lived most of my life in the wilds away from humans,
much of what contact I have had has meant death, and destruction,
including of my own family.


It is not that I am against "We are ONE"
but that my experiences of living with my own kind are very limited,
but of what has been learned, has been huge.
As from a distance, I watch, this earth be destroyed.
If as one, if you wish me to follow in THAT path,
my answer is NO.

If others seek to learn a different path than civilization has been on for generations,
Then my heart, mind, door, and all I have to offer is open,

as well I seek to learn more from those of peace,
how we as a species may live here, in peace.
It is a peace I have known, but seldom seen much of in my own kind.
I have spend most of my life away from humans.
"We" is a strange thing to me as a result.
It is not that I am against it, but it is something others may understand,
where I am more of a stranger to it.

I am not a stranger to walking unarmed into wilderness,

I am not a stranger to other animals who are wild protecting me.
I am not a stranger to living in Paradise,
I am a stranger to walking among my own species.
And I learned to live as others, to regain my son,
I am changing back to what I was,
Returning to what humans have left of Paradise,
but wish to save it, and all life on earth, from the path,
my own kind walks, of destroying it, in order to survive.
It is my quest, that my kind learns to live in this world with out destroying it

and each other.
But to help it to do so, I need to learn what is acceptable to you all,
how do you wish to build paradise,
That I may THEN share with you what I know,
and not more, that I may not empower those
who seek its destruction,
but those who seek its and man kinds, salvation.

I will not teach this world how to invite an eagle as your friend,

I will not teach this world how to walk with wild wolves,
In my land, they are killed for being wolves, by my kind.
I will not teach my kind how to live with grizzly bears unarmed,
for they help keep my kind from living in the only refuge I have left,
they protect me, from humans, as does a horse who was wild also do the same.

I am no stranger to living in Paradise,
It is my kind, who is.
An if I am to help save both, I need to help change that.