The Greatest Teacher

We cannot grow alone, just as a plant cannot grow without, water, soil, and air. For our experience without the good and the bad, will always be lacking. If we just had good, we would have no reason to transform. A piece of coal will not become a diamond without a great deal of pressure. Often this pressure can be very uncomfortable.

We cannot grow without those who would challenge us, and make our life difficult. Be grateful for all of the obstacles that people present you. For if we are truly looking at what they can offer us, then in fact we will find everything we need. When someone points out your flaws, acknowledge them.

Even if this person is wrong, it is important to investigate. Why? Because if you investigate you may find even a grain of truth in this person’s criticism and like a clam a single grain of sand can become a magnificent pearl of wisdom.

Often we become upset because we fear the person may be right. If they are right, then we should be grateful. It is important for others to point out our flaws so that we may begin to understand them, and eventually dissolve them. So often we are unaware of our own flaws. Even those of us who are constantly looking to refine ourselves, cannot always see what we are doing wrong.

We cannot grow without losing heart, or losing hope. One of the most powerful states to be in, is that of great vulnerability. When one loses heart, there is a great opportunity for change, because there is a chance for great personal honesty. When one feels lost, often we take time to reevaluate everything about ourselves.

However, this is also a dangerous time, where instead of taking the opportunity for growth, one can become denser and more rigid. Sometimes people trade one form of negativity for another and miss the opportunity all together.

We cannot grow without confronting our own reactions to external forces. When someone is critical of us, we are so quick to respond. Our defenses go up, and before we even have time to think, we react. Usually this reaction is some kind of retaliation.

It takes a great deal of effort to practice non-reaction, but if one can learn to keep their defenses down, so as to fairly assess what the person is saying, a conflict may become a beautiful experience.

We can practice non-reaction, by looking at ways we have reacted in the past. Try writing down some of the ways you may have overreacted, or said something you shouldn’t. If you can bring to light previous situations, it will begin to transfer into the present. It is important not to dwell in guilt for the ways we have reacted in the past, but to simply see where we went wrong and let it go.

Do not criticize others. Sometimes constructive criticism can be a wonderful and a powerful thing, but only participate in it if you have been asked. Do not worry about the way others are dealing with criticism, but focus only on yourself. Sometimes by just handling a situation in a calm and peaceful manner, will help others see that they do not need to put their defenses up. In this case, teach by your actions, not your words.