Being ill is a choice. It is also a defense, but against what?
You bring illness to yourself when you are afraid to know yourself - so you're defending against self-recognition. Some aspect of you is calling out your attention - essentially to remind you of who you really are - yet, would you run for cover instead of sitting still a moment? Fear that you might discover something about you that you don't want to see pervades sometimes so profoundly that it may even seem like you're standing in a fog of uncertainty about everything.
Perhaps that something is the recognition that there is nothing really wrong with you or that you are innocent or that those you've deemed less than you aren't. The explained reasons for your hiding from your self are nearly endless but entirely irrelevant - years of therapy yield nothing except, at best, a new fiction perhaps. Regardless, while you are convinced that you are merely and exclusively an entity contained by and limited to what you see in the mirror, you may reasonably expect a considerable amount of confusion to be the character of your inner life - and, of course, your outer life as well.
So, illness is an act of defense against self, a power trip insanely justified, a state of mind we could even characterize as a temper tantrum. During temper tantrums, children are insistent. They refuse to let go of whatever the problem seems to be. Well, how is it different to be an apparent adult vs a child - when the inner resolve in both cases is to be insistent?
Let's consider those that are sick. Have you ever spoken with a sick person? Are they generally happy? Yes, some can make this choice (and they are on their way to self-healing), but most cannot or, more accurately, don't want to because this would contradict the purpose of their illness.
Remember, they made themselves sick; this wasn't an accident or something random; it has a specific purpose for the maker. The contrast, however, between the creator and maker is so wildly vast that it is, in fact, inconceivable. Since each "maker" is a part of the creator, it still has the power to amplify any thought, regardless of how ridiculous, and yes, make itself sick. And this thought, in every case, is one of identity which simply excludes its invulnerable nature - a feature of the recognition that one is part of the creator - not something separate and dispensable.
If you are a being, whole, innocent and perfect, then how could you ever be sick? Perhaps, however you don't see yourself this way and, moreover, will do nearly anything to avoid this seeing - herein lies the cause of your sickness. Look no further than your own thoughts about you - it is these you project upon the world yielding what you want to see. But projection or seeing is a trick - remember you aren't the character in the movie. Its not real. What you are projecting (seeing) then is a perfect mirror of who you think you are. You are seeking through your 'seeing' to validate who you think you are. For many, this idea is disarming because they've suddenly lost the ability to blame an ideology or even another person.
But, within non-duality, blame too is unreal - a fictitious commodity conveniently traded to further the unreality of experience. To blame requires a defensive posture, yet if there is only one being of which we are equal, whole, and perfect parts then upon what would we place blame? Only self and none-other. Then, we stand around and wonder why we feel miserable or ill...:)
note - illness is broadly defined from a minor skin blemish, a headache, anxiety, depression, any psycho pathological disorder, to any physical malady; are you getting the idea? any state other than complete joy
So within non-duality or reality, we know that thoughts equal cause and experience equals effect. And, within reality, your attributes include wholeness, perfection, and innocence.
In simplest English then, if thoughts equal cause and experience equals effect, you must be attempting to have a thought that you are something capable of being sick. This thought, however, is in direct opposition to reality about you: wholeness, perfection, and innocence. And, oh by the way, your real form is not physical, it is spirit - the physical body is merely a projection - sort of like an image in a movie. It is where you, on occasion, play out your pretend self-identities.
Time and Space facilitate this play in a sense, being the backdrop, yet as equally unreal as the characters or the play itself. Illness shows up when you take the play seriously - when you forget that its a play - only a play. If you're not sure what I'm telling you is true, that's a good thing, test it. Here's how: look at the consequences (of your thoughts about you)....the consequences are your life's experiences, past and present.....look closely....past the surface....look within...are you joyful?
So if any part of your idea about you is in contrast to what is described above as the real you, then guess what, the costs are your peace of mind, your state of joy, and yes, you'll be sick.
But, and here's the rub, why would you hold any thought unless it has some sort of value to you?
Is it remotely possible that you are holding this thought because you are trying to teach yourself, through contrast, just exactly who you are?
Perhaps this is merely then an approach to learning. You hold an unreal thought about you, experience the consequences, then drop the unreal thought, choosing instead reality. Except there seems to be a problem, you think the thought you are holding is real, and you're feeling dis empowered, sort of like dust in the wind, or a pinball, yes?
If holding a thought contrary to reality is a choice that forces recognition, then you must complete your part of the game you set up - that means you must recognize what you are doing and let go of that false thought. Yet if you refuse to recognize what you are doing, you make or adopt an unnatural state, a state of conflict within you and you must then manifest an illness because your true nature is unified (whole), not in conflict.
Remember cause and effect. Thoughts about you precede experience. Yet you are choosing to hold a thought about you which is utter nonsense - so, you'll have to prove that its real to you, right? And, guess how you do that? You get sick. By manifesting an illness, you essentially attempt to build the case to yourself that you are, in fact, a body, that someone or some idea outside of you is your life's culprit. This is your temper tantrum. When one is ill then, one must attend in some way to the illness. And, guess what again, you just sealed the deal with your illusory self-identity. But, and this is a big BUT, at what cost did you seal this deal? Do you like being sick?
If no, keep reading....being sick is the hard way requiring great mental strain on your part while you attempt to maintain a false self-image....being healthy is the easy way and quite natural, requiring no strain; the easy part is below....
The way out is simple:
1. acknowledge that you did this to yourself; tell that idea to everyone caring enough to check in on you; neither accept nor communicate that you are some sort of victim
2. stop resisting the illness by taking your attention (thoughts) off of it...
3. sit still and align with your self; here you may understand the value of your illness to you....but, if you don’t, that’s ok....we don’t always know why nor is knowing a prerequisite for the next step...; it is enough and significantly empowering and aligning to complete step 1
4. choose something else....
5. don’t condemn yourself for choosing sickness; this condemnation would yet be you being defiant again; defiant against your natural and unchanging state of innocence...